Moments

We have all had them, a moment that makes us pause and think ! Sometimes it's a song on the radio, a conversation with a friend, for me it was a sunset! A pretty amazing sunset, sometimes we don't even have the time to appreciate them but on this particular day, I had the time and I did. WOW ! It's kinda crazy how caught up in one thing or another we can become. But the question is what the hell can we do to find a balance between, fun, work, friends.. I try to bring them together, for some of you that doesn't work? I'd love to hear what you guys have planned for 2009 and what you plan on doing to make it better than 2008.

Best

Vintage

VIVA PUNTA CANA!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!

On a super snowy sunday in Vancouver I jumped on a plane, no delays and headed to Dominican Republic for the Holidays. No rushing around gathering Christmas lists and lining up in malls for the perfect gift. No trying to find something to do for New Years even though no matter how good the party it will end like all the others. Standing on a corner freezing, losing my buzz trying to get a cab. None of that this year. I flew out on the 21st of Dec not to return till 2009. See you later 08!! I'm out.

I got into Punta Cana without a hitch and what followed was like Groundhog Day... only it was tropical and Bill Murrey was no where to be found. Sleep in, eat, go to the beach, eat, go to the bar, eat, sleep. It was blissful and relaxing and I forgot that the holidays where even happening... Well except for the Dominican staff running around sweating their asses off in sad santa hats everyday. Why do they have to to that? It must be torture... There where some stand out highlights though, like the spectacular XMAS buffet!

This is how I imagine the staff meeting where they began brainstorming ideas to jazz things up for the XMAS dinner buffet.

BOSS

"Ok guys it's holiday time again. What fabulous ideas do we have for the Christmas buffet?"

EMPLOYEE #1

"Well sir, last night before I went to sleep I had a vision of a box in the shape of a cash register, wrapped in tin foil then drapped in smoked salmon. We can just leave it out there at room temperature then people can peel bits of salmon off for a delicious treat."

BOSS

"Salmon cash register, I'll bet they've never seen that in Canada! Make it so. Next!"

EMPLOYEE #2

"Sir the Swan is my favorite animal and I had an idea to construct a massive Swan that we can decorate with fruits and berries. We could build it out of lard."

BOSS

"Lard swan, love it. Start building that sucker right away. But I think we are still missing something. Something that will truely raise the bar and make this buffet like no other!"

EMPLOYEE #3

"Boss may I speak? I have heard a myth about a Xmas display so epic that it made the hotel guests gasp in awe."

BOSS

"Yes, what is it."

EMPOLYEE #3

"Ok, you take a roll of chicken wire... just regular old chicken wire and you twist it into the cone shape of a XMAS tree. Then you cook hundreds of prawns and lobsters and one by one, hour by hour you wedge them into the chicken wire... like leaves on a tree. To top it off you put a massive styrofoam marlin on top and SHAZAM!"

BOSS
"That's it, a seafood Christmas tree! Amazing employee #3. Wait, do they eat the prawns and lobsters?"

EMPLOYEE #3

"The stupid ones will sir!"

New years was a blast and the beach was one of the most beautiful I have ever lounged on. BUT I will say this, to anyone thinking of booking a vacation through AIR TRANSAT... DON'T! They suck and are the most unhelpful people I have ever dealt with in all my travels. Please heed my warning friends. They are the worst!

Anyhoo, I hope all my peoples had an awesome safe holiday and New Years! Heres to 2009. HOTMESS is gonna bring the heat baby!

HANDSOME

THE FUTURE OF HOTMESS

It's 2009 and we're feelin' fine!

So good in fact that we're willing to give away our shows for free! Just go to the iTunes stores and search for hotmess podcast. Click subscribe and you're on your way to maximum hilarity and kick ass music.

Wow 2009. I remember partying like it was 1999 like it was yesterday. Time seems to be speeding up. This has made me think about the future of our podcast and blog. I have a vision...

One day in the future people will look back at said podcast and listen with wonder. It's like a sexy timecapsule that will be used to study early 21st century man.


In the future robots will do the robot to the music we play.

When they unfreeze Walt Disney he'll likely dedicate a theme park to us.

Aliens will stop killing people by planting eggs in their chests and spitting acid in their faces. Instead, they'll just chill and have a retro-electro dance party(they're dancing together in the picture). They'll draw up a ceasefire with Predator and the universe will know peace.

Future earthlings will erect statues of erect penises in our honour.

Humanity will advance so much because of our podcast that we will acheive the singularity. Suddenly mankind will be able to perceive all time and space at once and the future will be so bright that babies will be born wearing shades.

So check it out y'all and remember this moment in time. We're making history.
BOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.

Jay