SAND DIEGO JUST DRESSED UP LIKE VEGAS AND TRIED TO KILL ME

COMIC CON 2008:

Well, I am here to write to y’all about San Diego Comic Con 2008 as I saw it through my eyes.

I’ll start by letting you all know I have a pretty decent Wednesday afternoon buzz going and crest white strips wrapped around my teeth, like the bacon around a halibut cheek. I don’t know what that says about me but fuck it here we go.

All the way back in 1970, a small but passionate group of 300 comic book fanatics, writers and artists came together in the basement of a San Diego hotel to share in their love for art form that is the Comic Book. Hence the name Comic Con (Con short for Convention, was that obvious?)

In 2008, the group has blossomed to…um just a healthy 125,000 sci-fi fans, no big whoop. For 4 days, these people attacked the convention centre to get as much free shit as possible from all of the major Hollywood studios whoring out their latest and greatest blockbuster movies. Don’t forget all the coinciding toys and video games! Yay!

Oh and they may pick up a comic book or two.

Dressed in their favorite fantasy outfits…

Superman, Klingons, Princess Laia, whatever.

These fans have gained the power to make or break massive studio films a year before they even come out in theaters. At private screenings of trailers and exclusive clips, bloggers report the news of a big hit or can sink a ship while it’s still dry-docked. It’s a risk for any studio but a risk worth taking when it pays off… just look at Batman.

So what the fuck was I doing there right?
Getting sauced!
I was at the actual convention for about 3 hours and almost lost my mind. There were so many people and so much to see it became overload for the brain very quickly. I wanted to light myself on fire and run through the crowds just to get some space. I didn’t see any of the panels and basically was there for the parties and drinks, which were in abundance. Every big movie and TV star you can name was there to promote their movies and shows, being wined and dined to do it. It’s like a crazy Hollywood booze train… just get on and enjoy the ride.

Highlights:
1) Partying on an aircraft carriers, drunk in the flight simulator channeling my inner Top Gun (Did you hear they are making Top Gun 2… true)

2) Watching my wife trying and speak to her celebrity man crush at a crazy industry party and failing miserably. Delightful!

Low Points:
1) Murder Breakfast – there’s this joint in San Diego called The Tractor Room. We went, hung over, thinking a phat breakfast would make the world right again. We all ordered a dish and then started drinking Mimosa’s because… well, why wouldn’t you? When the food first showed up we all realized that it was a ridiculously extreme amount of food but dived in with foggy morning enthusiasm. About half way through we all knew we should stop but there was still so much food we trudged on. At the end of it we were not able to do much but look at each other and our barely dented dishes with utter distain and disgust. The amount of honey and syrup I had ingested was clogging my esophagus to the point where I could barely breathe. Murder Breakfast… we need a place like this in Vancouver.

2) Saturday night after a full night of debaucherious activity my wife drew me a bath and put me in it, clothes and all, to bring me around to a point where I wouldn’t choke on my own vomit in my sleep. HOTMESS!!!

So all in all, it was an amazing weekend. No I didn’t see Coldplay. No, I didn't see Jay – Z and no I didn't see Interpol. But I didn’t sit in my car for 20 hours, shit Cosby’s out my nose or get so high my body needed a week to recover. Amen.

I know my Grammar is hideous and God Bless any of you who got through this.

Handsome