Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My favorite porn is Jurrasic Pork



This baby mammoth, discovered in north-western Siberia, is the best preserved specimen of its kind ever found on planet earth...it's likely there are even better specimens on Hoth, or Elephantitus 4 in the Trunkular Galaxy, but I digress.

I know this is old news but all of the recent Vancouver snow has reminded me of this story as mammoths liked living in snowy climates because they were such good skiers.

In turn this story of prehistoric discovery has reminded me how fucking stupid people are.

You see this little tike's trunk and fur were so well preserved that scientists think they can extract enough undamaged DNA to play god and/or the kids from Weird Science and make some of these hairy bastards in their graduated cylinders. The problem is they couldn't find the righ bras to wear on their heads.



Oh, the other problem is that it's a dumb idea. Shit happens for a reason. Species die. So does your grandma. Get over it. Re-introducing these or any other extinct animals into our world will have negative consequences. Jurrasic Park told us so. If you don't know what I'm talking about rent that shit or better yet read the book. Potential dormant ancient diseases, mammoth stampedes, tusks in my anus. These things scare me.


After 10,000 years of laying in it's final resting place this baby was dug up only to be poked and prodded by a room full of nerds. How would you like it if 100 years from now Dilbert, House and Dr. Octopus dug up your bones and desecrated your tomb?

You'd be pissed and your ghost would likely haunt them.


In the words of the creepy old guy from Pet Cemetary "sometimes dead is better."

We have a Christmas show this Friday. Hot Mess 101.9fm 6- 7:30pm.

Jay



No comments:

Got a Hotmess?

Have you recently drawn on someone's face? Found a hot track? Barfed off a ferris wheel? Made or stumbled upon a great video? Poured gravy down your pants? Interested in advertising?

WE WANT YOUR HOTMESS!

email us at theshow@hotmess.org

If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

Blog Archive