The Great Blog

Ok so I had this really funny blog planned out that only worked with the amazing picture that I took at 711 last night, but my phone got fucking Jacked. Yes thats right, here is me at the gym working out, phone in locker and I go to leave, hmm why is my locker open I know I locked it. Oh look its still locked but the door is open and oh look my bag is empty. Karma to you thieves thats all I have to say is Karma is a muther fucking bitch !

Vintage

The Snow

I'm blogging as I sit here at a bus station, surprisingly not that
cold, rocking out to Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon, the snow
continues to filter from above like never ending confetti cannons at a
Mika concert. The entire landscape looks like it's under renovations
and someone's thrown drop clothes to protect everything including
the trees. How Lucky are you Mr. Anderson, off to all things warm and sunny, I hope your flight was
able to take off to the Dominican today. Snow it's a funny weather
phenomen, as much as I hate the damn stuff it's really cool how tuff
situtions seem to bring everyone together, people helping you push
your stuck car, picking you up when you fall. I'll be happy to see it
all melt away but it has had a little charm to it.
From me an all the hot mess crew get around safe out there and be good
to each other out there in winterland.

Brrr

Vintage

Old New? New Old?

Ok so the Hot Mess Crew is so Damn Yummy looking that people are just lining up to take our picture.. Hah Hah, no seriously Sam and Matt tested their modeling skills for Foxhuntvintage.com your online portal for all things vintage and funky. Check out the site for some super sick photos of our two hosts coming very very soon.

Holla

Vintage

My favorite porn is Jurrasic Pork

This baby mammoth, discovered in north-western Siberia, is the best preserved specimen of its kind ever found on planet earth...it's likely there are even better specimens on Hoth, or Elephantitus 4 in the Trunkular Galaxy, but I digress.

I know this is old news but all of the recent Vancouver snow has reminded me of this story as mammoths liked living in snowy climates because they were such good skiers.

In turn this story of prehistoric discovery has reminded me how fucking stupid people are.

You see this little tike's trunk and fur were so well preserved that scientists think they can extract enough undamaged DNA to play god and/or the kids from Weird Science and make some of these hairy bastards in their graduated cylinders. The problem is they couldn't find the righ bras to wear on their heads.

Oh, the other problem is that it's a dumb idea. Shit happens for a reason. Species die. So does your grandma. Get over it. Re-introducing these or any other extinct animals into our world will have negative consequences. Jurrasic Park told us so. If you don't know what I'm talking about rent that shit or better yet read the book. Potential dormant ancient diseases, mammoth stampedes, tusks in my anus. These things scare me.

After 10,000 years of laying in it's final resting place this baby was dug up only to be poked and prodded by a room full of nerds. How would you like it if 100 years from now Dilbert, House and Dr. Octopus dug up your bones and desecrated your tomb?

You'd be pissed and your ghost would likely haunt them.

In the words of the creepy old guy from Pet Cemetary "sometimes dead is better."

We have a Christmas show this Friday. Hot Mess 101.9fm 6- 7:30pm.

Jay

The best blog ever, aside from this blog, obviously.

Okay, so my friend sent me this blog Fuck You Penguin! because she thought I'd like it, and she was wrong, I don't like it, I don't even love it, I AM OBSESSED WITH IT. So please, after you've worshipped our blog, like, a lot, go check out this blog and read every single post, because animals should be put in their place. Here are two of my favourites....

Swans are nature's Porsche Drivers...

You know, there was once an ugly duckling who got picked on all of the time by the other ducks, who couldn't understand why the duckling was so ugly. But then it turned out that duckling wasn't really a duck at all, but was in fact a TOTAL FUCKING DICK.

Take this world-class douche, for example. Everyone is just hanging out, having a good time, and Mr. "My wingspan is bigger than yours" decides to unload on the scene. Even his swan friend is embarrassed. He probably does it all the fucking time because let's be honest: that's just what swans do. Me personally, I wouldn't be caught dead with a fucking swan.

Red "Panda" Trying to Steal Panda Thunder...

Ummm... Excuse me? Red Panda? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO FOOL. This is a panda, you little sneaky jerk-off. Just because you are holding bamboo doesn't make you a panda, BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED. You are a fox or a raccoon, or some kind of rodent or something.

Where did you have this picture taken anyway, Sears? Are you that desperate to prevent your species from total annihilation?

This bear is essentially raping my soul

So basically this totally thoughtless motherfucker decided regular bears weren't cute enough. His solution? GIVE HIMSELF NATURAL FUCKING EYEGLASSES. Then, becoming the single cutest animal on the face of the earth, he laid on his fucking back so we could all see his goddamn belly, and then furtively glanced in our direction, thereby rendering any potential defense against his advances totally useless. Well played, Bear. I'm going to go take a shower now.

Take Off - Two of our CO-Hosts Lock it down for some hot Photos

This is where Hot Mess Comes From

Yes we do broadcast from the clean and classy CITR studios. Maybe they should spend some of the cash money from their fundraiser on a fuckin swiffer. Hah !

Monsters and Vodka, Children Jerky and a Tassle Bra.

Holy Crap. Warm white wine, monsters and vodka are not the best idea while trying to do a radio show. As sexy as drooling on the mic might sound over your air waves, the look was a little less glamorous. Cherk killed it on the decks and Will Sasso ripped us all a new one.

 Though it was most definitely our messiest, it was also our most awesome show to date in my opinion... After Nanny Matt took Jay for a time-out, Eddy and I somehow managed to round out a second show. 

Ed why are you so smart and sober? How did you get so wise? 

I was still nursing a doozy of a hangover from the night before, I finally finished my yoga teacher training, and went to give my friends a squeeze and have a celebratory cocktail with my roomie Miss V on the Patio with Bazz (Ernold Sane), Cherk (short for Children Jerky) and all my Hot and Messy crew.

Republic Patio Feat. Blondtron and Handsome Anderson V 1.

Not very yogic I know. I had offered to buy my classmates a bevy and they all laughed because they thought I was joking... no vodka on the raw food diet guys?

After the show I met up with Matt and Jay aka Sir Throwandyellalot. Matt and I ditched out on Jay, leaving him to have it out with a parking meter that had so rudely got in his way. Then we went to get a lil more Cherkage and set the Republic Patio on fire.

A sobering experience? Getting the same stamp on top of last nights stamp that hadn't quite washed off yet. Matt, we should probably get a life.

A few shots of tequila cured our shame and we seriously gave it our all, I hadn't danced that hard in ages, so much effing fun. 

Republic Patio featuring Blondtron and Handsome Anderson V 2.0

I've decided to just wear a tassle bra, snake skin pants and a logger hat 

every day, because it brings out the best in me.

Texting-Your grammar pisses me off

First of all I want to explain there, their and they're.

They're means " they are" as in " They're using incorrect grammar and it's pissing me off."
There is a reference to a place, concrete or abstract such as "There is a spelling and grammar check on your computer. Use it." Or "The library is located over there."
Their is a possessive adjective indicating that a particular noun belongs to them.
"Their heads were so far up their asses I couldn't belive it."

LOL, LOMAO. LHQZWXXYTPRTGEWDSTEART. These things mean nothing to me. They only mean something to you and Gossip Girl.

"I know, right?" is just the worst valleygirl weirdness I've ever come across. It's not a sentence. It's not even a question. I DON'T know what you're talking about but I AM right.

In conclusion listen to our show tomorrow, Friday Dec. 12 Hot Mess Citr 101.9FM 6pm-7:30pm.


J

This is Hot Mess

Drunks

I am Surrounded by drunks, yes we are live on the air. I love our show, and I love my co-hosts. I must become a drunk ! !

Vintage!

MSTRKRFT on HOT MESS

So I just got off the email (is that phrase correct?!?!) with the powers that be and I believe that we will be bringing you an interview with MSTRKRFT very soon. They play The Plaza in Vancouver on the 28th of Dec. Tickets are on sale next week. get em here http://www.clubzone.com/

STAY TUNED FOR THAT PODCAST IN THE NEW YEAR!!!! It's sure to be a doozy.

www.myspace.com/mstrkrft

IN THE MEAN TIME WE DO HAVE A SHOW THIS FRIDAY AT 6PM ON CITR 101.9FM IN VANCOUVER with BLONDTRON (www.myspace.com/blondtron) bringing the beats! Plus we'll give ya a few choice surprises as per usual.

IF YOU CAN'T HEAR IT CUZ YOU LIVE ELSEWHERE FEAR NOT. You can always dowload our podcast for FREE on ITunes!!!!

PEACE. Jay

Dear Soul, where art thou?

Okay, So I haven't blogged for a while, but with good reason! I have been in Yoga teacher training, which you'd think would keep me out of trouble. But no, no it hasn't. On the flip side of my zen I have been on a post-break-up, new hair cut, party train rampage.

It all started Thursday night, when my dear friend and flame to my party dynamite Isis rolled up to my house around seven or eight and I yelled to Ernold Sane, she's home Smell ya later! (okay, sorry I had to, I love Fresh Prince) Isis is half of Thunderheist, the greatest Electro Dance ass shaking duo ever. They had a show in Vancouver Friday night and Saturday night in Whistler.

Download Jerk-It!!!

When Isis and I get together it's like dropping mentos in diet pepsi... explosive. She had just played a banging night with our Hot and Messy friend Bazz, aka Ernold Sane in Victoria and was still, eerrrrm possibly drunk. 

Peep Ernold Sane's new Crazy Ice Cream remix HERE.

I went to yoga and came home to her and my roommate Erin rolling around to the floor, practicing their sexy tiger prowl dance, screaming 'MAKE IT HAPPEN!' needless to say my vodka was all gone. So I sucked it up, had a shower and put on my party pants only to emerge to the two of them passed out to Little Britain. Phew, I can rest. Friday was a different story...

The evening started off gently with some Sake Bombs and copious amounts of sushi at a giant table of Dj's... seriously... 

Sammy Bananas..(Click here for a free download!)

 Grahmzilla, The half alive crew, My!gay!husband!, Sincerely Hana, and yours truly. I had to take off early as I had box seats to NKOTB and wasn't gonna miss it for the world. I arrive, to a box full of my lady friends dressed in their teenage hear throb revival Friday best. So the thing about box seats is that there is free booze. I had a magic bottle of white wine that never emptied. I danced on a railing, screamed for Donny at the top of my lungs and was passed out on the couch by Step by Step. The mysterious bottle of wine that never emptied ended up emptying me. Sushi does not look so good second time around. I don't really remember much from there...

Fast Forward to 3 AM. I awake from wine coma dripping with sweat in my car, with the heat on high, just blaring, to my 30th missed call. You see I was throwing the Thunderheist and Sammy Bananas afterparty with my friends at Schitz Popinov, and I was supposed to be there at 2 AM. I stumbled out of my car to the vast and empty Costco underground parking lot. Apparently this is one of those parking lots that closes at 12 AM. So I was trapped, and I set off all the alarms as I ran through corridors desperately trying to escape. I emerged from the parking lot to angels singing as a cab magically pulled up.

The rest is a blur, and what I do remember probably shouldn't be published to the internet. I will say that by noon the next day, we were still drunk sitting at Subeez, trying to eat some food.
On a whim, I decided to be a total roadie and go up to Whistler for their next show since I had slept through the Vancouver one which is really just unacceptable.
Jeremiah, DJ Neoteric picked us drunkards up, piled us in the back and it was up to Whis to do it all over again. I honestly thought I was going to die. The trick to continuous partying is not lying down, the second you do, it's game over. But I did, and was brutally awoken with a pillow to the head and a sip of scotch.

Off to the club, I may or may not have entered a booty shaking competition and I may or may not have won a giant pitcher of vodka.

Thunderheist killed it, as if I was surprised, these guys are the real deal and I'm their number one fan. If they didn't exist I'd be shooting myself on air and looping it for CanCon.

We decided to bring the party back to our Hotel suite but upon arrival realized that only dudes had come. So we put on our robes, turned on star trek and said thanks but no thanks... "uhhhh you guys are gonna have to go now."  They left us this note though, how sweet...

In closing I would like to send out a public plea to my soul.... Please come back, you are dearly missed.

Love Blondtron.

Ha Ha...

It's a funny sketch, and it's not often lately that SNL has a hit, unless it involves a Sarah Palin impression.. Check it out...

"Milk" it Does a World of Good

Wanna learn something new? Well new to me anyway. Going into watching this movie all I had to go on, was a few good reviews, being a Gus Van Sant fan, and thinking that Emile Hirsch is a pretty good actor. I came out of the film, a little smarter, appreciative for the City I live in and really impressed by some fantastic acting. There are moments in the biopic film story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in the United States, that seem slow and drawn out..but c'mon it's Gus Van Sant. I really liked the quick little stylistic moments that broke up the almost documentry style of filming. Emile Hirsche, Sean Penn and James Franco definitely definitely played roles in this film that make any actor dream to have moments like that. Over all I say go check out this film, it makes you think. I give it 4.5 messes all over your face out of five.

GaGa Bedding Block!

I still can't really believe I'm here, some how a ticket to this show magically arrived in my lap. It's funny as I sit here looking at all the mid to late twenty something mostly females all around me only 25% clad in neon and spandex I might add. I'm surprised at the variety I peeps I see, punks, goth's American apparel's and sweater vest matching boys. Gaga killed her way too brief but totally captivating performance, Too bad 95 percent of the audience didn't get it. Natasha bedingfield followed looking like she stepped out of a ghetto episode of the Hills. Did someone forget to tell her she's performing in front of 18 000 people, not schlepping around on highstreet, buying panties at H&M? Looks aside she was vocally surprising but equally boring in her raspy melodic voice, at times it felt her back up singers were drowning her out, over all it was a yawn. Nearing her sets completion her voice seemed a little worse for ware as she sang the theme song to the hills, is Audrina Partridge in the house? Or maybe Justin Bobby? The lights dim, 15 years ago they walked away and now it's time. The polka dot wearing spandex girls of yesterday year make my ears bleed as their vocals come over the speakers from the dark. Smoke and a lift, nothing less than what you would expect as the boys take formation in their classic line Across the stage. First way back track my favorite girl, mayhem ensues. I can't wait to get blondtrons over view as I'm here in the pit and she's got an eagle eye view from a box. The right stuff literally causes an earthquake as the floor shakes and I'm slightly frightened. Finally dancers hit the stage and they(NKOTB) all disappear three songs in, already, really? Anything less than a throw back to spandex and neon this show is a nostalgic blowout for 90's teeny hoppers and the old boys on the block brought a hefty efforted A game and slightly achey backs to do what they did 15 years ago. The crowd loved it, but it's more than I bargained for so my night of New Kids ends here. If you were 16 in 1990 and a pop music junkie then this is the tour for you. Gaga wanna get married??

Guilty Pleasuresaurus

I don't care if So You Think You Can Dance with the Superstars of Survivor Island and the cast of Big Brother XXIV is your guilty pleasure or not. These shows suck ass-balls. The women on that dance thing are fit as fuck though.


Above is a Guilty Pleasuresaurus doing the running man. Neato.
Below is something awesomer ( my new word for "more awesome").

This is wicked:

www.myspace.com/sebastiengrainger

J. Awesome-O

Its all over, so lets laff

Ok, so im no politico, but damn this woman is really amusing to watch. Here are some of her greatest hits. Sarah Palin for Mayor of Vancouver?

So you think you can "Vote" Canada

I have to say Matt, I wanted to hear more about your Mexican antic's, and yah with all this technology it's a little scary that we could all end up like those people in Wallie. Now, on to my rant.. For those of you who are fans of the show "So You Think You Can Dance" the Canadian version, based on talent alone this season, completely trumps the original. Yes Canadians are so damn artistic we just can't help it. Now all we need to do is ship off or crappy host Leah Miller and import Cat Deely to match our competitors. I mean we got it all, great talent, great judges, and uncensored dances airing on a major network! Sometimes Canada really makes me proud, only sometimes, tonight was not one of those times, as Canada is clearly too nice! Why too nice you ask? well its obvious that you all feel sorry for poor Izaak.. Let me fill you in, Izaak for those of you who don't watch the program is one of the least talented dancers; I am not saying he is without skill or talent, but when side by side with the other competitors, and we are not even going into the technical, I'm not a dancer, this is simply based on performance. His stage presence is lack luster and fumbles unpassionately through all his movements. So why why why is he still on the show? Well week after week the Judges keep telling him his faults, offering criticisms and telling him his place and of course Canada being the nice, polite people that we are, feels bad for him and keeps him around for one too many rounds. It really is the only logical answer as to why he is still on the show. So seriously c'mon Canada step up to the place grow some balls and send the boy home, it will only help him really I promise you, and if that doesn't work I make a plee to the judges to compliment Izaak, tell him how amazing he is and maybe just maybe next week will be his last.

Sometimes we are a little slow

Yes we are a little slow at times here at hotmess.org but eventually we get our shit together so here is the scoop.

You can listen to any of our past audio shows from CITR by clicking the links on the right hand side of this page... Yahoo ! Additionally Hotmess is now on myspacewith some cute, fun little snippets of the show that you can check out as well as some great mixes by the awesome DJ's we have on. And the final thing, we have a channel on youtube where all sorts of great videos and crazy stuff will be appearing for your viewing pleasures. Soon to come will be the ability for all you awesome peeps out there to subscribe to us on ITUNES.. yes it will happen one day, but until then check out all the fun stuff we have goin on right now. And keep coming to our blog we got lots to say..

Eddy