Gripe and HYPE!!

Gripe.

Peanut allergies. WTF. Why is everyone allergic to peanuts these days? When did we all become such pussies? I want to eat my PB & J on the bus without worrying about killing someone. The human race is breeding itself into a bunch of skinny fingered, antibacterial freak shows. It's time to build up our tolerance! Go lick a doorknob, scrub yourself down with a urinal cake and quit your whining. Buy a bow and arrow and kill an animal then roast it on a fire and wear its pelt. Squirrels eat nuts okay? SQUIRRELS. I don't want to lose out the evolutionary battle to cute, fluffy-tailed rodents.

HYPE!

Gastro Intestinal Problems

It sounds bad, but at least your not collecting the calories of that shit piece of mega bite you ate last night. Even if you don't have mud butt, it's the hottest office excuse of 2009. I don't know any bosses that are going to dig too deep into your excuse of spraying dirt.