Saturday, October 31, 2009

Paranormal Activity wins Most Profitable Film of All Time

This movie scared the pants off me... Seriously.

I went to see a big show matinee at the Arclight dome thinking if I saw it during the daytime it would be less scary. I forgot it's always dark in the theater.

Now... I'm a wuss but I thought this movie was the scariest thing ever... Blair Witch project in your bedroom. It starts small and builds with the right amount of shaky camera and things that bump in the night.

Some people didn't find it as heart stopping as I did but can't stand it when people are too cool for a good scare. ANYHOOO Paranormal Activity which was apparently shot for like 15 grand has now made over 65 million making it the most profitable movie of all time. Taking the number one spot from Blair witch. ET is still in the top 5 after 27 years.

If you haven't seen it go check it out. The director is already working on his next film about area 51. I can't wait. I love Halloween.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Douchebag Solidarity

Attack of the Crab- U2 concert review

You like Giant alien crabs attacking stadiums? I think it's kind of cool and so does U2.. the 360 tour hit BC place this past week and it was well, a typical U2 extravaganza.. Let me lay it out for you quick and easy,

Band enters stage, band dances around really badly, mediochre light show, very cool video screens, lots of philanthropy, a message to save the imprissioned leader of Burma, more bad dancing, children walk on the stage in a circle for One Love, 2 encores and the show is done..

58,000 people exiting the stadium and roam the streets of Vancouver.. nothing special, nothing bad, just typical U2.


Oh wait I forgot to mention the laser jacket.. Bono wear a jacket covered in Lazers, now don't get me wrong I am all about copying and making it your own but didn't daft punk already do that a long time ago when lazers were actually cool? I guess most of U2's audience is too old to know what Daft punk is so they can get away with it.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

A healthy body isn't scared of GERMS!

GERMS! Whatever happened to the natural process of healing? It seems to me that whatever created women & men; made sure that our bodies could self medicate and combat outside sources! It makes me angry that nowadays when we get sick, we immediately run to our kitchen cabinet and pull out 10 different boxes of laboratory infused chemicals that will temporarily make symptoms go away or we go and get vaccinations, which is ABSURD! Why would you want to inject poisonous disease into your body, isn't that what were trying to avoid to begin with??? Let's get to the real source people! I mean have we really gotten so lazy that we don't and won't try to EAT HEALTHIER, EXERCISE, SLEEP MORE, and STRESS LESS! It's obvious to me that the 21st century has more disease now then ever! Our ancestors must be laughing at us and rolling in there graves. I get sad when I think that our next generation is gonna look like a bunch of pale germ phobic zombies trying to find the next object to "Purell"! GERMS are good for you! Our bodies need constant challenge or they get lazy and that's how we get sick. If our immune system functions properly then so do we, but we gotta give our body what it needs to function! (LONG SIGH) NATURE gave us what we need! I hope you got the point!

Frankenstein- GAY?!?!?

I haven't written on my other blog THE TALL AND HANDSOME CLUB for a while but I'm back with a whopper, so I'm posting it here on HOTMESS too!!
What better way to reintroduce the world to all things TALL AND HANDSOME than by blogging, in celebration of Halloween, about the tallest and most handsome monster of them all-Frankenstein. Oh, his handsomeness is debatable you say?!? I beg to differ. His was a uniqueness all his own. His green, leathery face, full of weathered lines and undeniable character are reminiscent of a latter-day Clint Eastwood-meets-Kermit the Frog-on-steroids.
We all know that the ladies love Clint and the pig-ladies sure seem to dig Kermit, so is it really a surprise that the chicks were all over Franky?!?! Just check the picture below! There he is with his Bride-the woman he eventually knocked up and check her out! She's an undead babe!

Ok, ok..I know what you're thinking....what of all those rumors about him being gay?!?!
Well friends I can neither confirm nor deny this lurid gossip. All I'll say is Elton John was also married to a woman for a time. Maybe this painting, allegedly commissioned by his secret lover, can set the record straight ( or gay).

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Evolution of the Halloween Slut (I hope I never have a daughter).

(Picture: Elvira- The Original Halloween Slut)

Hundreds of years ago Celtic people were hungry and frightened of everything. On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, early Celtic and European people thought that they would encounter spirits if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. On Halloween, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter.

That was then.

Nowadays people are a lot less concerned about evil spirits and demonic possession and more concerned about GETTING LAID. Obviously Halloween had to evolve. The masks got a little less scary. The skirts, a LOT shorter. The boobs, faker. Suddenly, KABLAM, it's 2009 and being a horny, hard-bodied skank on Halloween is all the rage. No wait. Scratch that. IT'S A RELIGION.

It's the only time of year your girlfriend can unleash her secret dream of being a slutty nurse or cop, a dirty angel, a horny she-devil, a porn star, a trashy princess, Elvira- Mistress of the Dark or Angelina Jolie. Am I complaining? Of course NOT! I'm just saying I hope I never have a daughter.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


If you live in the Vancouver area and like new music then get ready to have you cotton socks blown right off of your feet! SHOWCASE, sponsored in part by HOTMESS, takes place every Tuesday at The Republic (958 Granville St). It will feature two great local bands followed by a night of 80's and New Wave favourites from residency band One Night Stand.
Tonight SHOWCASE features the very talented Kaylee Johnston
COME ON DOWN. Doors open at 9. First act at 10pm sharp!

The Sounds and Foxy Shazam

Last night The Sounds kicked and jumped and rocked and danced and spit and smoked and drank and yelled and called us motherfuckers. The audience loved it. I was luke warm about the set. While stand out track Living in America was awesome, the rest of the songs kind of sounded the same.

The real story of the night was the opening act FOXY SHAZAM who were like a bunched of abused caged, animals that only get released before they go on stage. From Cincinatti, OH the band consists of two lead singers, one trumpet, bass, guitar, drums and keys. AND THEY ARE BATSHIT CRAZY. One guy was constantly somersaulting around the stage and telling the audience he was "going to get to you before you get to me" if they tried to kill him. The set ended pleasantly with the bass player going crazy, beating up one of the lead singers and very realistically pretending to snap his neck. Once again I believe in Rock n Roll.

Monday, October 26, 2009

What Happens When You Are Sick/ Hungover At Home



If it isn't paternity tests it's bootcamp or people afraid of inanimate objects.

This show has been on for 18 years!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe Maury is Bat Man... what a good front!


Say what you want about Bono and his egomaniacal posturing, the fact of the matter is U2 IS the biggest band on the planet and has been for like, what, two decades?!?! I know their latest album didn't get much love here in North America, because of this critics have deemed it a commercial flop, but last nights live broadcast of U2 playing the Rosebowl was proof that they are still loved by millions the world over. Since it's initial broadcast last night at 8:30-ish PT the streaming concert has continuously been replayed.

It truly was a unique and cool undertaking on the band's part, marred only by the incessant, tactless tweets of some that read " MADONNA IS DEAD." She's not. People can be losers. Enjoy the whole damn concert right here!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Halloween Scare Failed

So I thought it might be fun, being in the Halloween season and all to hit up a midnight screening of Paranormal Activity, hyped up to be one of the scariest movies in a while, I left wanting a refund. This film is all hype and no delivery. Its starts off slow and kinda makes you want to vommit with the stupid hand held camera style, fyi we get it, you want it to look real, but no one enjoys getting a headache. Then it has the entire film, building building but not really getting anywhere, a lot of shots of people sleeping... exciting stuff here people. I won't let the cat out of the bag if you do plan on watching the movie, but seriously don't waste your time, Blair witch kicks this movies ass hands down. Happy Haunting Demons.


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