Friday, August 1, 2008

Pemberton, Seattle and Sleep Deprivation Equals one Hot Mess


Yo, I have been MIA for ages, lame especially since I have been the one pushing the HotMess Crew to blog. Well I hit up pemberton for five fantastically dirty, sweaty and dusty days, followed by the riding of the Drop Zone at playland and a 14 hour day trip to Seattle. Throw in a few session at the gym and my body is in a full 100 percent revolt. Regardless I loved every minute of it. More importantly I'm a buzz with the anticipation of tonight's inaggural broadcast... and I hope that you all are too. Im gonna throw up some highlight photo's of pemberton and a Seattle pic or two for you to enjoy. Hopefully the Hot Mess Crew all makes it to the Grand Opening of PoP Opera tonight... Vancouver's newest nightlife establishment. Thats all I got saving the rest for on the air. DJ DStar in the house. Ready Eddy?
video

God is in the Radio

I thought I saw him on the video
A trance is keeping him under
I know that God is in the radio
Checkin the station
Im glad I caught it from me to you
Just a call in the medium
I know you hear it, I hear it too
Its everywhere that I go

You come back another dayAnd do no wrong

They say the devil is paranoid
Always signin the cover
But God is leakin through the stereo
Between the station to station
You believe it, I know you do
You wont admit it or say so
I know that God is in the radio
Just repeating a slogan

You come back another dayAnd do no wrong

Queens of the Stone Age


It begins. tune in.

HOT MESS 6-7:30pm Fridays
CITR 101.9FM

Jay

Everbody Nose!

boomp3.com
Can anyone get enough Pharell? Can they? I can't. Especially since as N.E.R.D was playing at Pemberton I was sitting in my van eating cheese and listening to Phil Collins all of 2 km away watching Cletus Von Douche bag and co get all sweaty tossing a football around while yelling 

'Pember-TON! WHAT! YA! WOOOOOOOOOOH! FUCK YEAH!'  

Painful.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Mother Goose






As a professional cat herder, my abilities were stretched to the max on Sunday. I drove up to and down from Pemberton in one day with friends in tow Amy Amelia Zimmerman aka Amber, Steve aka Rudy, and Kheaven, aka K-os, aka Sleeps everywhere he shouldn't. We had cheese and vodka and phil collins so the traffic time was passed quite nicely. Highlights included dance mimicking teeth grinders at crystal method, babysitting sleepy alcoholics and the bacardi press washrooms, I didn't think too much of them as they were just regular flush toilets in a trailer until I saw overflowing poo receptacles on the regular fair grounds. poop. poop everywhere. yuck. Also the free mojitos were nummy.

SAND DIEGO JUST DRESSED UP LIKE VEGAS AND TRIED TO KILL ME


COMIC CON 2008:

Well, I am here to write to y’all about San Diego Comic Con 2008 as I saw it through my eyes.

I’ll start by letting you all know I have a pretty decent Wednesday afternoon buzz going and crest white strips wrapped around my teeth, like the bacon around a halibut cheek. I don’t know what that says about me but fuck it here we go.

All the way back in 1970, a small but passionate group of 300 comic book fanatics, writers and artists came together in the basement of a San Diego hotel to share in their love for art form that is the Comic Book. Hence the name Comic Con (Con short for Convention, was that obvious?)

In 2008, the group has blossomed to…um just a healthy 125,000 sci-fi fans, no big whoop. For 4 days, these people attacked the convention centre to get as much free shit as possible from all of the major Hollywood studios whoring out their latest and greatest blockbuster movies. Don’t forget all the coinciding toys and video games! Yay!

Oh and they may pick up a comic book or two.

Dressed in their favorite fantasy outfits…
Superman, Klingons, Princess Laia, whatever.
These fans have gained the power to make or break massive studio films a year before they even come out in theaters. At private screenings of trailers and exclusive clips, bloggers report the news of a big hit or can sink a ship while it’s still dry-docked. It’s a risk for any studio but a risk worth taking when it pays off… just look at Batman.

So what the fuck was I doing there right?
Getting sauced!
I was at the actual convention for about 3 hours and almost lost my mind. There were so many people and so much to see it became overload for the brain very quickly. I wanted to light myself on fire and run through the crowds just to get some space. I didn’t see any of the panels and basically was there for the parties and drinks, which were in abundance. Every big movie and TV star you can name was there to promote their movies and shows, being wined and dined to do it. It’s like a crazy Hollywood booze train… just get on and enjoy the ride.

Highlights:
1) Partying on an aircraft carriers, drunk in the flight simulator channeling my inner Top Gun (Did you hear they are making Top Gun 2… true)

2) Watching my wife trying and speak to her celebrity man crush at a crazy industry party and failing miserably. Delightful!

Low Points:
1) Murder Breakfast – there’s this joint in San Diego called The Tractor Room. We went, hung over, thinking a phat breakfast would make the world right again. We all ordered a dish and then started drinking Mimosa’s because… well, why wouldn’t you? When the food first showed up we all realized that it was a ridiculously extreme amount of food but dived in with foggy morning enthusiasm. About half way through we all knew we should stop but there was still so much food we trudged on. At the end of it we were not able to do much but look at each other and our barely dented dishes with utter distain and disgust. The amount of honey and syrup I had ingested was clogging my esophagus to the point where I could barely breathe. Murder Breakfast… we need a place like this in Vancouver.


2) Saturday night after a full night of debaucherious activity my wife drew me a bath and put me in it, clothes and all, to bring me around to a point where I wouldn’t choke on my own vomit in my sleep. HOTMESS!!!

So all in all, it was an amazing weekend. No I didn’t see Coldplay. No, I didn't see Jay – Z and no I didn't see Interpol. But I didn’t sit in my car for 20 hours, shit Cosby’s out my nose or get so high my body needed a week to recover. Amen.

I know my Grammar is hideous and God Bless any of you who got through this.

Handsome

All the tents look the same we so ADHD!

Holyshitfuck.

Where do I begin?
For my friends and I the madness of the Pemberton Festival began at 1:30am Friday July 25th when we decided to drive the Sea to Sky highway in search of a new musical legacy.
Were we geniuses for leaving at that time? We thought so...

"Babies, we'll miss all of the traffic! I gotta have more cowbell! Listen to Bruce Dickinson." said luxuriously long-haired Graham Pence in his best Christopher Walken impression which is really quite fucking good.
"I concur." I wearily replied, tired from having just interviewed Judas Priest and rocking out with some SEXY ( you knows who you are) people at the Ghost Brothers ( www.myspace.com/ghostbrothers) show the night before.

The truth of the matter is we were making great time until we came across a construction crew outside of Whistler that told us the road was closed from 3am to 5am for BLASTING.

We were pissed for about three seconds. It took that long for a party to break out right there on the side of the highway. Dancing girls on on the top of an RV, at 3, in the mountains. What tha fuk?

Looooooooooong story short it just got crazier from there. No sleep for days upon days upon days upon days.......
MODERATION. I'm sorry what does that word mean?

The days were long and drunkenly dusty. Evenings of maddness.

Shoeless women entering and exiting outhouses..shoeless.

30,000 CAMPERS.

Them: Why do you guys have access to everyhting? Why do you get to park backstage?
Why are you staying a Shawn's mansion with private bedrooms, bathrooms and a banquet feast every night?

Us: ALL YOUR TENTS LOOK THE SAME WE SO ADHD, WE SOO ADHD, WE SO ADHD!!!!!!

Free Bacardi for free.

I feel sorry for the people who paid to see the djs and had to wait in a line of 3000 to see their favorites.

I wish I spent more time with my brother.

These are the groups that KILLLLLLLLEEEEEDDDDDDD it.

Nine Inch Nails. www.myspace.com/nin

My Morning Jacket. www.myspace.com/mymorningjacket

The Tragically Hip. www.myspace.com/mymorningjacket

N.E.R.D. www.myspace.com/nerdofficial

The Crystal Method www.myspace.com/thecrystalmethod

Buy more music.

Jay.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Talk like that

I'm convinced that the time I ran out of uppers at the studio after my bear attack was caught on security tape, posted on one of those 'Caught on tape' shows then ripped  off by Jonas and Francois the creators of the fab new Presets video who were also responsible for the D.A.N.C.E vid.

Got a Hotmess?

Have you recently drawn on someone's face? Found a hot track? Barfed off a ferris wheel? Made or stumbled upon a great video? Poured gravy down your pants? Interested in advertising?

WE WANT YOUR HOTMESS!

email us at theshow@hotmess.org

If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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