Saturday, March 14, 2009

PG PORN

Soooooo my buddy Nathan hooked up with his good friend James Gunn and created this little diddy of a video. It takes an fine actor to act this badly and a true porn star to bring such believability to the piece. I will go so far as to call this a master work in awesomeness... Enjoy.



There is more PG PORN out there... like hidden gems but I think this is the best so far.
Handsome

Friday, March 13, 2009

ESTELLE



So, right before I left for LA, Eddy Vintage and I caught Estelle at The Vogue... It was awesome! Supper simple show, no smoke and lights just her and a band on stage being great... OH and it wasn't even close to being sold out by the way. I couldn't believe it, this girl was just at The Grammys on stage with Kanye West and now she is at this theater in Vancouver and NO ONE CAME!?! Those who know how wicked she is and showed up were treated to a fantastic show. She killed every song and told funny little British tales of heartbreak in between. She also says "Aw shit!" a lot.

She had an all male band with 3 back up singers and a DJ. The thing that killed me was the guitar player who the only white guy on stage. He looked like he had just finished a Dungeon and Dragons game in his moms basement and came straight to the show. He stuck out like a sore thumb but was having the best time and killed the show.

The only negative thing I have to say about the show goes to the two skinny drunk chicks in the front row screaming like idiots over Estelle while she was trying to speak to the crowd. I thought they may get kicked in the head, which would have been awesome but Estelle was in a great mood and brought them up onto the stage to slink around for her last track. Classy move. I would have kicked them in the head.

Overall it was an action packed hour of fun and great singing. It left me wanting more and I loved that it was so intimate. Concerts like that are rare and amazing. If you have a chance to see Estelle anywhere, anytime... GO!

Handsome

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Simian Mobile Disco

There comes a time when ravers grow up! This is Simian Mobile Disco!
Rub it all over yourself on a sleepy day!

Watchmen- watch more? watch less!


As in I wish there was less of it to watch. Seriously Watchmen could have been the best superhero movie ever made IF IT WANS'T THREE FUCKING HOURS LONG! And I DO NOT need to see that blue guy,the world's biggest smurf, get all pouty on planet Mars while owl-man is getting it on with his girlfriend in the giant floating metal fish blimp.
Furthermore I felt the storyline compromised the original prose and there were many glaring omissions.
In conclusion why does Hollywood feel it's necessary to remake The Neverending Story?
It could be the only perfect movie ever made.
Jay

PS-
Some of the Watchmen trailers have been cut to this epic tune by MUSE. Cherish this song. It's peeing your pantaloons good!

Muse - Take A Bow.mp3

ROAD TRIP


So I just drove down to LA...

Long motherfuckin drive but smooth as a 13 year olds mustache. As I was passing some of my favorite towns on the I-5 like Drain, Curtain and Lebanon, taking in the sights/roadkill I listened to a lot of music... and french lessons.

On the 20 some odd hour drive I became roughly fluent in french thanks to the cd compilation of Michel Thomas. Check this dude out, he is the best and his life should be a movie for christ sake. Crazy!



Bon Iver got me through the snowy mountains, Lady Antebellum got me through the flat bits (short lived)and Jay-Z with Santo Gold gave me a big boner coming into LA. That track is the best thing to come out of the Nortorious movie.

Now I am here in Sliver Lake getting to know the streets, eating and drinking in the sun and trying not to get deported. Viva California!

Here are some people in a bar in Silver Lake I found on the internet... looks like a fun place to be.



Handsome

BREAK SHIT


I realise that in these tough economical times it's not cost savy for bands to trash their equipment on stage, never the less it's awesome when they do. Few bands can compete with THE WHO (they basically invented rock n roll destruction) but here are some acts that really like the smashy smashy.
Nirvana


...and you will know us by the trail of dead


Muse

Monday, March 9, 2009

So this is what it's like when DOVES cry...tears of JOY!!


Sorry to interrupt Ed's lame-ass self help blog below but I think there are more important and pressing matters at hand, for example the DOVES ARE ABOUT TO RELEASE A NEW ALBUM AND MAKE THEIR WAY TO MY NECK OF THE WOODS! They're probably coming to you too but I really couldn't give a shit.
Bottom line- they ooze liquid awesomeness out of every orifice (I know I once went camping with them...just kidding). Some of their songs make me want to suck my thumb and drift off to the land of nod while other songs make me jump around like a little kid in the pouch of a kangaroo riding a pogo stick on the moon.
And here's their latest video!


Doves are so rad they're basically like a giant middle finger to all other acts from the UK.
Yeah, we're looking at you Chris Martin...you got something to say about it?!?!?!?
Didn't think so. Bitch.
JAY

Sleepy Slap


Ok minions of cool, we all just lost an hour of sleep as many of us across North America sprang forward this morning. It’s a great thing it means, brighter evenings, patio drinks, late night debauchery, and in many cases warmer weather although; for those of us living in the Pacific Northwest, today’s dump of snow makes that seem a little less believable. But more importantly for many it signals a season of lack of sleep. More fun shit to do, but the same amount of time to get it all done means a big fat sleep debt. So I have a list here of a few things you can do that will help you maximize the sleep that you can get, so that you don’t pay for it at school or the office through out the week.
• Exercise regularly. Some form of exercise for 20 to 30 minutes at least three days a week is ideal – but be sure not to exercise too close to bedtime.
• Cut down on stimulants. Consuming stimulants such as caffeine in the evening makes it harder to fall asleep. Stimulants also prevent deep sleep and increase nighttime awakenings.
• Sleep on a good bed. It's difficult to get deep, restful sleep on a mattress that's too small, too soft, too hard or too old. It won't provide the comfort and support you need to rest well.
• Don't smoke. Smokers take longer to fall asleep, awaken more often and spend less time in deep sleep.
• Unwind early in the evening. Try to deal with worries and distractions before going to bed.
• Don't go to bed stuffed or starved. A stomach that is either too full or too empty may cause physical discomfort, making it difficult to sleep through the night.
• Eat foods that can help you sleep. If you're hungry and can't get to sleep, try eating foods that contain the amino acid L-tryptophan, such as milk, eggs, tuna fish, cottage cheese and poultry.
• Develop a sleep ritual. Make the transition from nighttime to bedtime easier by doing the same things each night just before bed.
Some of them are a lot easier than others, I have my own little trick a good dose of melatonin from the health food store, gets you into a deep sleep faster, and getting regular doses of Bcomplex in pill or shot for keep your energy up! (but I am not a doctor I just know it works for me) so get out there have fun, and try and get a little sleep now and again.

Got a Hotmess?

Have you recently drawn on someone's face? Found a hot track? Barfed off a ferris wheel? Made or stumbled upon a great video? Poured gravy down your pants? Interested in advertising?

WE WANT YOUR HOTMESS!

email us at theshow@hotmess.org

If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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