Friday, June 5, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Rock Band, Guitar Hero and now DJ Hero!

Coming out this October to most consoles, the game comes with over a hundred songs, turn table controllers, and the subtle implication that DJs are the new rockstars.

To some that's blatent blasphemy; to others old news.

When Rockband came out Blondtron and I somehow came across it and what started as a time filler erupted (6 hours later) into a international Rockband sensation we randomly named "Shave Cats".

Still a good name for anyone looking... you have our permission (we almost insist).

Watch the clip and let Hotmess know what you think!

Dear Zach Galifianakis


Zach we like you... we are stoked about your new movie The Hangover which comes out this Friday. We like your beard and we like the way that you look perpetually hungover, like us.

As a lead up to The Hangover's premier we wanted you on the show. We checked out your website, got your email and sent you a couple invites to HOTMESS last week only to receive automatic replies. We were upset.

The bit you did on Jimmy Kimmel "Kids Say The Darn Funniest Things" (google it)was pretty good stuff. Your talk show "Between Two Ferns" makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable. Your stand up is sweaty and odd. We love it.

We want you on our radio show, to talk about funny shit. You make us laugh and we believe we can return the favor. We are pretty clever and awesome... plus we play dope tunes.

Does anybody reading this have Zach's number? Fuck it. We are going to write an email everyday until you call into the show. This will probably piss you off but we are more pissed off that we are not making amazing radio moments and crushing cold beers together over the air waves.

Here's to harassment.

Your creepiest fans... with contacts,


PS Hey World, Star of the mega hit "Heroes" James Kyson Lee is on the show Friday. Don't miss it!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Bad Tattoos: the calling card of the douche. A rant by Jay- Volume 1 Series 7

It's hot. The summer sun is upon us. I'm seeing a lot of skin right now and on that skin...a lot of tats.
It's fine. Some of your body art is exciting. Even beautiful.
You are a walking Picasso with your sex sleeves and you back murals and your fierce words written across your knuckles. You are expressing yourself and you are God's creature created in his own image (that dude must have tattoos all over his divine body!!!).

But holy fucking shit.
What the hell?
Does EVERYONE need ink did?
No they do not. You- bank teller on Robson Street. Why was Yosemite Sam starring up at me when I handed you my cheque yesterday? Why were you wearing a tank-top at work? I asked myself these questions today and then realised there's a bigger picture here. The more appropriate question is:

Why has douchebaggery infiltrated the very fabric of our much so that douchebags don't even know they're douches?!!

It's like that new Terminator movie with the robot that doesn't know he's a robot. Today's douche is totally oblivious.

It's a mental condition actually. Being dillusional is a sickness. I fear for the future. I'm officially asking you to tell your friend/ brother/ sister/ dad/ aunt/ grandma/ cousin/ bank teller to consult a friend before inking. Getting the wrong tattoo is the first step toward douchedom and you can take it from there.



Oh wait. Is that what you're trying to say? That you are so tough you have an extreme pain threshold and could totally wear barbwire?
That's actually kind of cool. Now I'm a little intimidated.

Listen, here's the bottom line: THINK BEFORE YOU INK.

Cordially yours,

Obama Rocks It!!! Inside the Obama White House

Last night NBC aired inside the Obama White House letting you have a glimpse of the hustle and bustle of the Obama administration. They introduced you to his young staffers and what a typical day is like for the President, however the coolest thing was that Obama felt like having a burger for lunch so he went and got lunch for his entire staff at a burger joint. Oh yes he did, he went around asking his whole office who wanted a burger, got into his limo and drove to the place and ordered for everyone. He even knew who wanted lettuce on their burger and who didn't. Could this man get any more awesome!!!

They air the second part tonight on NBC but you can click on the title link above and watch the first part on the MSNBC website, I encourage all of you to watch it!

In other news this little gem popped up today;

Al-Qaeda chief Osama Bin Laden criticized President Barack Obama stance on the Muslim world in an audiotape released as the U.S. leader began a Middle East tour with a visit to Saudi Arabia, Al Jazeera television said.

What in the fuck!?!?! ummm is this guy even alive? Seriously, in an audiotape recording he criticized oh really!! No one has laid eyes on Osama since.... NEVER, ever, ever ,ever not even through out that whole 9/11 debacle you only saw him on a crappy grainy video that looked like it was recorded in 1984. The dude has been evaporated from this planet, he doesn't exist anymore he's not making audiotapes, come on now! It's probably Dick Cheney in a basement somewhere spreading his Obama hate. Go fishing Dick! preferably in shark infested waters in a small dingy that's easily puncturable and with no paddles.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Guitar FREAK

This kid is a freak. I'm scared of freaks so I will NOT allow him in my band. He sure can play though.

Windows Down Volume Up

I’m psychic. You know why? This is what you are going to do with the rest of your day:

You are going to read this blog, download Iglu and Hartly’s “In this city”, listen to it a few times back to back before telling your friends. Then those friends are going to tell their friends and those friends will tell some of their awesome friends. Two hours later you will be driving across the Lions Gate with the windows down and volume up feeling like a 6-pack of awesome and ya know what? So will half the city because you started a chain reaction of goodness with that grooving little diddy.

What is this band all about? Hell if I know. I just heard this song today. But their website accurately describes them as

“Tom Petty meets the Pointer Sisters in a neon karaoke bar in Tokyo singing Tina Turner.”

Iglu and Hartly, meet Hotmess Readers. Hotmess Readers, Iglu and Hartly.

Crystal Method gets busy

The Crystal Method, Commodore, Monday night, and memories of one of the biggest electronic records of the 90s. Not to say that nostalgia was the only reason I was there, because that new track of theirs that features Emily Haines of Metric is pretty rad, and the rest of their new album is getting my summer going .The light show they put on was pretty great, the music and energy were up there too, and the crowd was pretty into it. Not a bad night to be on a sprung dance floor.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Google Wolf+ T-Shirt and Magic Happens.

The image catalog is enough to blow your mind into yesterday. However, a few weeks ago the whole world's mind was blown when those two words took on a whole new meaning.

Amazon is cashing in on a wolf t-shirt that some reviewers, about 920 as of today, poetically write "You don't put this T-shirt on your torso, you put it on your soul".

It all started a kid named Brian Govern left a very tongue in cheek comment on for the t-shirt reading
"I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me.

I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt."

A few months later got a hold of it. Although this has been building for a few weeks or so (in the viral community sometimes that means it might as well be last year) the t-shirt is EVERYWHERE and still gaining speed.

There are currently nine Facebook pages dedicated to the shirt, a YouTube parody, hundreds of Tweets, content all over Digg and Squidoo, coverage in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times and a recently aired segment on ABC World News. There were 250 internet news articles written about it in the last 48 hours alone.

This is such a success that Amazon is claiming to be selling more than 100 an hour.

Here is a picture from the 125 customer images connected to this item.

The caption below this one reads "Shortly after this picture was taken, that car started."


Sleepyhead (Wallpaper. Dio Remix Sample)

More GINGER love

Tonight Conan makes his debut as the new host of The Tonight Show.

Will Ferrell and Pearl Jam are the guests.
Will we see such classic characters as the masterbating bear

and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?!?!

Here's hoping.

Nathan Fillion on Hotmess Radio!

I got an awesome interview with Nathan Fillion last week when we found out his show Castle was picked up by ABC for another season. Always a gracious host, Nathan had me over to his house to talk about his character Rick Castle, death, murder and always flushing twice.

We also talked about the perks of celebrity which, for Nathan, comes down to being able to spread the word to a wide audience about his charity KIDS NEED TO READ. Check out how you can help get books in schools and libraries across North America for kids!

Nathan starred in the cult film "Slither" and has recently collaborated with it's director James Gunn on another project PG PORN. I've attached this little gem because it make me laugh till bits come out my nose and shows that Nathan has... a little sense of humor.

To listen to the podcast just click on it over there on the right or download it from iTunes. Hotmess has been growing steadily since we first started all this in January 2009, join our twitter and facebook to stay informed on what's HOT in music and MESSY in life...


Sunday, May 31, 2009

The MTV MOVIE AWARDS- A play by play review

6PM PT - Andy Samberg  is funny...oh he's now naked. Yep, he's Jewish for sure.

6-0-something- Megan Fox isn't as hot as my girlfriend.

6:21 - For some reason I want to punch Shia Laboeuf. I have no idea why. He' s the new Indiana Jones, which is cool....but...oh wait....FUCK

6:22 - Robert Pattinson just won the award for best fight. I have a hate on for sparkly vampires. I will continue to call him out until Corey Haim gets his shit together, stops smoking crystal meth FOR GOOD and revises his role as Sam from Lost Boys ( I'm pretending that sequel they made doesn't exists- it was fucking brutal) eats a shitload of garlic for lunch and pisses it in Robert Pattinson's eyes.

6:26-Eminem is a fucking cartoon character.

6:28= Close up on old woman Sandra Bullock dancing to Eminem surrounded by teenage sluts. The juxtaposition is horrifying.

6:34- "Cool guys walking away in slow motion from explosions" gave me a boner.

6:35 - We just realized how much we wished Will Farrell was our dad.....wait.
 That's sick. Cuz then my girlfriend and I would be brother and sister. I retract that statement.

6:37-I was about to write JONAH HILL KICKS ASS but now I am writing how much I hate SPARKLY VAMPIRES for the second time. Robert Pattinson just made a cum joke that wasn't funny to a room full of underage girls. In any other place besides Hollywood he would have been arrested as a pedophile. In an ideal world his arrest would be followed up with sober Corey Haim pissing garlic in his eye.

6:46-A naked gay angel just fell on wanna be gangsta rappers. Oh shit that was Eminiem!!!
Was it real? Was it staged? Who gives a shit it was hilarious. 

6:55- My girlfriend has a wide-on for Ryan Reynolds................little does she know that I secretly do too. I'm only planning on telling her 25 years from now after we've had a family and my coming out horribly messes up the kids. It will all be in my book" I Was Born a Gay Dad."

6:58-The sparlky vampire is up on stage again...I almost stop watching.


7:01-Chris Issak? I thought he was dead.

7:01- Forest Whitaker sings about his dick in a box. My girlfriend barfs all over me.

7:07- Lil Wayne's teeth sparkle like a gay vampire.

7:08- Hannah Montana wins. There is no god.

7:17- New Moon trailer intro by Pattinson. Basically I have completely tuned out. I have now opened a new window and have decided to search for nude pictures of the Golden Girls. I've heard so many jokes about naked pictures of Bea Arthur I can't remember if they're supposed to be real or not. Guess not.
This is the best I could find....

7:30 I'm interested again. The tribute to Ben Stiller is awesome. If I were an actor I'd be Kiefer Sutherland.  
What to do now? To be honest I'll probably just take a nap until Kings of Leon's my favorite song by them to bide your time while I enter sandman....

7:38- Shit that was quick! The Kings are playing "Use Somebody" and sound fucking great live! Real deal shit. No auto-tune. No dancing girls. No naked ass in Eminem's face. No gimmicks. 

7:58- Well, there you have it. Twilight wins "Best Movie of the Year." I guess I'm not surprised, Bu I'm also not impressed.....because I'm not a teenage girl...but I heard about this operation that they do in Austria...they turned this 45 year old man into an exact replica of Miley was totally freaky. What's even freakier is the inevitable question: Does that person now get Twilight? It's difficult to say. Emotionally he could have morphed into that which he sees in the mirror, a teenage girl OR he could still have the mind of a 45 year old Austrian man. Austrians a a crazy bunch. Science is fucked. I wish they would stop playing god. At any rate Interview with the Vampire just came on another channel. It's a GOOD vampire movie. You should check it out.


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