Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bandwidth is a piece of twit

We apologize if you are trying to listen to our latest and greatest show and can't! WE KNOW WE KNOW. As you can imagine posting all of our hour long podcasts and FREE MUSIC to this site takes up a lot of space. We are dealing with the issue and will be fully operational again very soon.
In the meantime here's a hilarious video that my friend, music producer genius Roger Swan, showed me about how pointless and lame Twitter is. 

Global Ghetto Organics

Vancouver Fashion Week, is on the enviro train too, bamboo tshirts by Global Ghetto Organics. Check it out, simple, clean and you do your part!

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Free Shit

We hit up the Artist Sanctuary at the Loeden Hotel, and watched the likes of Bedouin Sound Clash, Ill Scarlet, Serena Ryder amongst many others, get their hair did, pick up some sexy duds from Ben Sherman, freshen their minds at the oxygen bar and rock their ears with Some pimpin Skul Candy earbuds and headphones. And yes we did pick up a thing or two for ourselves, including some tasty yet dangerous Grey Goose Red Carpet Martini's that I guarantee will be the drink of the weekend.

The Mess Hit's The Junos

Yes we Can, Yes WE Can, Hotmess Crew is bringing you best of the best this Juno weekend in Vancouver, here we are looking cuter than chiclets at the Nettwerk records Pary

JUNO(s)! (read this with an internal valley girl voice)

What up Cana-merica! No this is not a post about the Michael Cera vehicle that made teenage pregnancy cool! This is a post about the Canadian music award show of the same name.
If you aren't aware of the Junos, well let me inform you!
It's like totally, like the only place where you can see some of Canada's best and brightest talent come together to win awards that look like Klingon weapons!
Sometimes really AWESOME artists like Cancer Bats or Wintersleep or The Stills or Feist or k-os get nominated and everyone goes- SHIT YE-AAWW!

Oh, but also sometimes grody bands like Nickelback win and people barf all over their TV screens. Eww. Like I know, right?

So like check back here soon for pics from the events n' shit cuz like HOTMESS is gonna totally be all over it.

PS- I might barf.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fashion! Turn to the left... Fashion! Turn to the right

Vancouver Fashion Week is the epicentre of the global couture industry, and Hot Mess went to check out the Cara Vetta / Vicinity show at the Chan Centre in Vancouver for Performing Arts and Sciences in Vancouver, or whatever that building is now called. As you can see, this was a slice of Milan glamour in our little Pacific burg:

Check out the Microsoft Word toolbars on that screen. They left it that way for the whole show. With production values thus established, other details followed accordingly. This poor girl had to do her walk in silence, as the track that had been playing ended and they didn't have another song queued up. Look at the sad model:

There were a few highlights though. Andy Samberg made a surprise appearance, and, after doing his little turn on the catwalk, sang a song about premature ejaculation. Not really, but doesn't this guy sort of look like him?

Coherence was key, and what better way to establish a theme for your fashion show than to have the fellas wearing jeans and Chucks, and the ladies wearing evening gowns. I guess that's what will be hot for fall this year.

Stay tuned for further hot, messy coverage of Vancouver Fashion Week!

Photos by Graham Cook.

Live from The Junos it's Thursday Night

All while, Handsome and Jayson Awesome are sick as hell, Ready Eddy is running around the city with his head cut off, covering the Juno's the best he can. Tonight I bring you night 1 of the Juno Street Party, with Hot Hot Hot! The tent was cute, but stank of hot dogs, just wait until the weekend hits and some wet drunk party goers take solice in the dry steam box that giant plastic rooms turn into and then tell me what it smells like, just you wait. I also had the chance to check out Carly Rae Jepsen and the Latency at the Virgin Radio party. Fantastic performances, and the half naked people wandering around the event, made it even more enjoyable, everyone loves a Virgin. I promise to do my best to keep you all up to date, and in the loop, but exhaustion will soon set in and take over, so please forgive the spelling errors and worse than ususal Grammar. From Vancouver and the Junos's and Vancouver Fashion Week

Vintage OUT !


I am sick as a dog right now and once again Funny or Die! comes through making me laugh till I cough my esophagus out. Ouch!

Enjoy the Cock Shot...


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Top 5 Train Wrecks of '09... so far

So... I watch a lot of reality TV. Lots! Most recently I have gotten hooked on Celebrity Apprentice. I haven't watched The Apprentice in years, Trump is the king of Douche and now his off-spring are getting involved and they all look the same and it's too much! BUT this season is hilarious... Andrew Dice Clay, Tom Green and Dennis Rodman = Gong Show. Apparently next week they all sit down in the boardroom and have an intervention with Dennis about his serious drinking problem. It's gonna be a doozy. So, inspired by Dennis' antics and Train Wreckedness, I am assembling a Top 5 of the Biggest Train Wrecks of '09... so far. Let me know if I leave anyone out.

1. Obviously Joaquin Phoenix take the number one spot. This guy is fascinating to watch as he takes a nose dive into Hollywood's core... prank or not, I can't turn away. Will it ever get old? Probably sooner than later... but then the documentry will come out.

2. Right on Joaquin's heels is Dennis Rodman. The dude looks nuttier than a Nutra Grain Bar, drinks non-stop on Celebrity Apprentice, picks up nasty chicks and doesn't show up half the time because "his eyes are bothering him" (hungover). He almost fought Country Star Clint Black and is about to get served an intervention on national TV in Trumps Boardroom of all places. Here he is partying with his fly down and what looks like a pee stain on his crotch... Go Rod Man!

3. Tatiana, American Idol fail and total day pass. She is a self obsessed, freak nut who can't figure out who she is. She started talking with a Spanish accent half way through the show, gave 3 wannabe Oscar speeches and laughs like a hyena. Crazy person.

4. The baby lady. Why is this news? The media is feeding into her sick fantasy about being Angelina Jolie. She is sad and fucked up and should have those kids taken away. Don't give her a big house and news cameras!?! What do you think she will do when all the attention is gone? She will get rid of the kids, and get more publicity. "I just can't handle it all, my life is a mess... give me a reality series. Please?"

5. Anyone who owns/live with a chimp... especially the lady who owned a chimp, gave it meds and then watched as it ate her friends face. My friend played the 911 call for me off YouTube, this is the most fucked up thing I have heard all year. Hey World guess what? Chimps grow up to be bigger than you and 5 times stronger than you, don't keep them in your goddamn living room, they will eat your face if you piss them off!


Monday, March 23, 2009

Desert Songs

Like Jim Morrison, Hunter S. Thompson and The Sand People from Star Wars I too recently spent some time in the scorching desert. It wasn't all lazy days in the sun by the pool, this adventure took me deep into the darkest reaches of Arizona's Superstition Mountains past crooked cactuses, to broken ghost towns built of dusty dead wood. 
I also drank my ass off at the greatest bar on the planet The Big Bang. It's a rock n roll piano bar featuring genius multi-instrumentalists who can play any song on a piano. No shit, like anything you can think of...and somehow they know all of the words.

Here are some songs for your trip to the desert:


Go With The Flow-Queens Of The Stone Age (Röyksopp's Night Out Version)


Nifty and Thrifty

Holy Sugar Cane Batman, this is wicked cool. Tata motors from India has a funky little car for sale, big deal you say. True except for the fact that it costs only $2050.00 USD Thats what a Toyota Trecel Cost in the 70's. So if your in the market for a ride and you got's 2 grand kicking around, this bubble mobile might be worth looking into!

Check it out


Sunday, March 22, 2009

What in the Chicken Chow Mein is this??

Yo, so we just did our first Live on air show in a while, and you know what it's friggin wicked ! That's right I said it, Handsome rang in from an outdoor couch in the sunshine of East LA and Blondtron and Kay helped hold it down on nothing but gin and juice minus the gin. So for killer tracks and tasty ear snacks give it a whirl..... Oh yah, somehow I stumbled upon a track with Wale feat Lady Gaga where is this from? Regardless holy crack whores and mini donuts it makes me hard !

Love and sloppy kisses


Chillin with Wale and Lady GaGa

Got a Hotmess?

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If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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