Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Top 5 Train Wrecks of '09... so far

So... I watch a lot of reality TV. Lots! Most recently I have gotten hooked on Celebrity Apprentice. I haven't watched The Apprentice in years, Trump is the king of Douche and now his off-spring are getting involved and they all look the same and it's too much! BUT this season is hilarious... Andrew Dice Clay, Tom Green and Dennis Rodman = Gong Show. Apparently next week they all sit down in the boardroom and have an intervention with Dennis about his serious drinking problem. It's gonna be a doozy. So, inspired by Dennis' antics and Train Wreckedness, I am assembling a Top 5 of the Biggest Train Wrecks of '09... so far. Let me know if I leave anyone out.


1. Obviously Joaquin Phoenix take the number one spot. This guy is fascinating to watch as he takes a nose dive into Hollywood's core... prank or not, I can't turn away. Will it ever get old? Probably sooner than later... but then the documentry will come out.



2. Right on Joaquin's heels is Dennis Rodman. The dude looks nuttier than a Nutra Grain Bar, drinks non-stop on Celebrity Apprentice, picks up nasty chicks and doesn't show up half the time because "his eyes are bothering him" (hungover). He almost fought Country Star Clint Black and is about to get served an intervention on national TV in Trumps Boardroom of all places. Here he is partying with his fly down and what looks like a pee stain on his crotch... Go Rod Man!



3. Tatiana, American Idol fail and total day pass. She is a self obsessed, freak nut who can't figure out who she is. She started talking with a Spanish accent half way through the show, gave 3 wannabe Oscar speeches and laughs like a hyena. Crazy person.



4. The baby lady. Why is this news? The media is feeding into her sick fantasy about being Angelina Jolie. She is sad and fucked up and should have those kids taken away. Don't give her a big house and news cameras!?! What do you think she will do when all the attention is gone? She will get rid of the kids, and get more publicity. "I just can't handle it all, my life is a mess... give me a reality series. Please?"



5. Anyone who owns/live with a chimp... especially the lady who owned a chimp, gave it meds and then watched as it ate her friends face. My friend played the 911 call for me off YouTube, this is the most fucked up thing I have heard all year. Hey World guess what? Chimps grow up to be bigger than you and 5 times stronger than you, don't keep them in your goddamn living room, they will eat your face if you piss them off!

Handsome

1 comment:

Grand Puba said...

this is hilarious!!!

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