Saturday, May 2, 2009

Where in the world is Jay and Blondtron?

Remember this show from when we were kids? Thats kinda what happened on yesterdays show, except it was the search for Jay and Blondtron. Don't worry, we found them and they will be back, until then enjoy this fridays show with some sexy beats.

Vintage

That's Weird!!!

Holy Shit balls Batman! Looky, Looky what I found!!!!

Listen up peeps, I just found an AWESOME website that'll blow your granny panties off!


Looks like someone who was sick of being a loser; thought it would be funny to laugh at weird shit that no one ever hears about! Check out some of their weird stories. Such classic titles include:

"Cat with 4 Ears" (WARNING: THIS IS NOT YODA)








"Man with No face" (And I'm not talking about that shitty Mel Gibson movie)








"Funny Toilets" (Someone seriously has way too much time on there hands!)












So next time you wake up hungover next to some random nasty chick; burping up that 3 am McDonald's... Run home close all the blinds, have a caesar, and laugh your ass off at other people's misfortunes and stupidness! Cause we all know there's plenty out there!

Friday, May 1, 2009

EUR-O-VISION

Two years ago to this day I was sitting on my couch in London flicking my 3 illegal channels when all of the sudden a life altering TV moment occurred- the Eurovision Finals. I thought it was the kind of thing that only existed in scary Eastern European fairy tales but there it was... and HERE IT IS! Behold.



What the F is this? Where do I begin. Eurovision is a song competition that has been rockin the mic in Europe for 50 years. It uses televotes submitted from about 100 million viewers continent-wide to create You Tube sensations... I mean world POP STARS. Erm.

Any citizen in their respective country can submit a song and the one who represents that country is chosen usually via radio contest. Then Eurovision sucks them up for a head to head of epic proportions that I still don't understand the rules to.

Their best success story? ABBA. Yes people this is real. This is not a drill.

Why am I telling you? Because the 2009 contest starts next week!!!

Here is something to blow your mind. If I haven't already.

Hold the Line Remix

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder, separate events.....SAY WHAT!!!!!!!

That lovely snippet is from this new website i found;

textsfromlastnite.com

Its brilliant, fantastic and some of the funniest fucking shit i've read in a while. Its exactly what you think it is with a name like that, texts you sent last night when you injested one to many jagger bombs! Go forth to the site and laugh your ass off and thank your lucky stars none of your drunk ass texts are on there....or are they???????

Here's a few highlights:

310: dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
323: no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

775: Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
775: What!?!?! How are you txting?!
775: Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend

417: He has such a weird drunk-voice.
417: dude, he's deaf

313: downstairs, can you go check my room pls, there's a strangeshape under my duvet. I think it's breathing
313: who is it???
313: can't remember, don't want to look. going out, pls get rid of it.


So Awesome!!

Becky

Heaven only knows

k-os is back with a vengeance! First date of the Yes! Karma Tour was tonight at the Commodore, and it was a show worth seeing. Be sure to check him out when he hits your town soon. Donations go to the David Suzuki foundation, and $10 or more gets you a disc of sick remixes. So get drunk and save a whale, people!




Photos by Graham Cook.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Chris Cornell going strong

So I went to check out the Chris Cornell show at the Commodore tonight. I was as big a Soundgarden fan as every skinny 15-year-old skater kid in Airwalks was in the mid 90s, but I admit I hadn't been following his career as closely lately.

I had this dream a few years ago where he became the lead singer for Rage Against the Machine, except that they weren't called that anymore and they didn't do songs about American military and financial imperialism or use the waa-waa pedal much. So while that was probably just my weird imagination, this concert was for real, and ol' 4-octave Chris was back to stomp around the stage and wail at the rafters. Dude's still got it, and he even busted out "Spoonman" and "Black Hole Sun".

Photos by Graham Cook.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

TIME FOR THE GOSSIP

The Gossip are finally back with the new single "Heavy Cross". Since their last release I have only seen Beth Ditto half naked half as many times as I can handle. I am ready for more. The band's goal is usually a shockformance so whether or not you want it. Its coming...and it's rocking a butt ton of spandex!

Ditto has done a bang up job of making herself a shameless tabloid fixture over the past few years, fueling my bag of quotes for this very moment!

"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream."

I have no idea what that means but I agree since NME voted her the "Coolest Person in Rock" agreeing can only elevate my personal coolness. Isn't that how it works? Isn't that the equation on the road to cool? Like long division minus logical sense. YES!


Heavy Cross

FREEZER JEANS


I LOVE JEANS.

Most of all, right now, at this very moment I love NUDIE jeans! I wear my NUDIE jeans everyday!

One problem, my NUDIE jeans are raw denim. That means they look great and last a long time BUT when you buy a pair of NUDIES they come with a note that says "Do not wash for 6 months".

Alright... I've heard you're not supposed to wash raw denim and I'm cool with that BUT I wear the jeans all the time! I spill stuff and fall in stuff and fart and stuff. SOOOOOO how do I kill the stink?

Put them in the freezer over night.

It kills the stink bacteria and makes your jeans fresh like a daisy without ruining the wash! So next time you come over to my house and go to pour a vodka from the freezer. Don't ask me about my friggin' freezer jeans, will ya!?!?!

Buy some NUDIES they kick ass.

Handsome

Monday, April 27, 2009

Metric - Gimme Sympathy Acoustic

video

Emily Haines and Jimmy Shaw of Metric performed Gimme Sympathy acoustically for me after a recent interview! I got a freaking private one song concert. RAD.

Stay tuned for hot interview action!! You can also catch both the performance and interview this Friday on Urban Rush in Vancouver.

Jay-bone

Hitler was a painter?!?


This interesting little watercolor scene that looks like something you did in grade 11 art class was painted by none other then Adolf Hitler.... for real. Apparently this is one of a series of pieces that were painted by him that sold for over 100K Euros in an auction in London. The art gallery was only expecting to fetch 1000 to 1500 euros for each of these paintings so you can imagine their amazement to realize there is actually a market in Hitler art. Who knew!

Not bad for a guy that was rejected not once but twice from the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna in the early 1900's, now lets just think on that for a moment if they had accepted young Adolf as a budding new artist instead of kicking him to the curb twice it is quite possible that we would of never heard of the Nazi Party nor ever had a Second world war..... Thanks for that Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna like the painting isn't that bad there's room to grow damn it!!
I love how he's put an X over the dude on the bridge then labeled it with an A.H. indicating a self portrait in case you didn't realize LOL, what's with the red water though Adolf????


This new development in Hitler's bio makes this Joy of Painting with Hitler all the more funnier!!





Becky

Got a Hotmess?

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WE WANT YOUR HOTMESS!

email us at theshow@hotmess.org

If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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