Saturday, August 1, 2009

Rock the Bells

Hotmess hit up Rock the Bells on a sweltering Saturday at Deer Lake Park. The day was all about reverence for hip-hop, and a certain funny smell in the air. The lineup included legends like RZA and Nas, and had surprise appearances by the likes of B-Real from Cypress Hill. Throughout the day, artists would do classic verses of other rappers, like when Common dropped some Pharcyde and Snoop lyrics, to the delight of the crowd (oh yeah, he did "Rapper's Delight" too). The whole thing felt like a shrine to a genre that seems to be a bit maligned of late, and it was refreshing.

B-Real of Cypress Hill




Damien Marley and Nas

Friday, July 31, 2009

LA Roux tonight on Hotmess!

So are all probably aware that we are big fans of La Roux on Hotmess. Tonight the greatness collides! Vintage will be catching up with our beloved former 'Ginger of the Week' who I was lucky enough to catch in concert a few nights ago.

They did not dissapoint, in fact I think they were one of those bands better live! Her voice is incredibly powerful which is good, because there were a lot of hipster lesbians with their coif in her signature massive side bang singing along at the top of their lungs.

Check out their touring schedule here and make sure you don't miss the ginger greatness if they're playing near you!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

LMFAO at Gossip

The crowd was unruly, the band was an hour late, but once they were up there they got shit going. They gave a lot of love to Vancity, substituting the nickname/credit union into their song "I'm in Miami Bitch", to much applause from their Gossiping minions.

Hotmess landed an interview with Sky Blu! You have to listen! Party execution 101 with hotmess and Sky Blu !

Photos by Graham Cook.

I Love you, Kelly Kapowski!!!!

Blink 182

Vintage sent The Bruce and I to review the blink 182 show.

On the way over we met some girls in the park and they gave us some of their peach cider. After a couple pulls from the 2 litre, The Bruce casually mentions he hasn't seen blink 182 since thier first Warped tour.

Girl 1: "Oh my god! You guys are seniors!"
The Bruce: "It was only 1999"
Girl 2: "I was 8"
The Bruce: "Bye ladies. Your braces are sexy, but even I have limits"

About 10 steps into GM Place we met a girl standing by herself. She was waiting for her date to come out of the restroom. After some brief negotiating, I proceeded to lick both her legs from ankle to thigh. She was tight, tanned, and salty. This cost me $2.

Guys, don't leave your sluts unattended.

We walked into the show and found some seats; not our seats,but some seats. It was there that we met two fine ladies from the Black Orchid Agency (aka Hookers). I don't really remember what I said to them, but I got pushed down the stairs and rolled into a group of girls from somewhere in the Valley. After some quick introductions the girls told me I was pretty even though I was old, and began to take pictures of me. A lot of pictures.

It aint easy being tall, good-looking, and white.

That's when I figured it out. Everyone at this show was ugly. Beautiful People are the new visible minority. Our numbers are dwindling. Stick with me Hot Messy ones, there is strength in numbers.

Oh, also, Blink 182 put on an amazing show for the kiddies with the best stage setup I have ever seen. They played all the hits for all the white kids passively swaying back and forth in the "mosh pit".

It was a good time had by all. I'm pretty banged up from my trip down the stairs though. I'm walking with a limp like an old school pimp or real OG.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Why our site looks like a piece of shit right now...

Dear Sir or Madame,

You are likely visiting this site because you are one of the GAGILLION Hotmess fans worldwide who have had multiple eargasms while listening to our podcast/ radio show. You probably also love to fuck around at work or school and read our blog. This is great for us and we thank you. If your boss or teacher gives you shit, grab that stapler on your desk and hit them in the knee cap. When they buckle, tear off the arm of your chair and give them a HELLO upper-cut. Finish off with a flurry to the solar plexus. They'll get the message.

You COULD be visiting this site by accident because you thought this was a Sam Sparrow fan page, a Cobra Starship fan page or even a porn site ( if you thought it was porn I'll apologize right now for letting you down), but this is less likely.  

Regardless, you're here and are probably asking yourself, "What the shit-fuck is this bullshit? This page looks more lame than my leper horse with a broken leg." 

First of all, put that horse out of it's misery and secondly the reason this page looks this way right now is because we needed to do some tests while we build our NEW IMPROVED WEBSITE.

It's going to be SICK so please have patience.  We're going to have merchandise and contest sections and a whole whack load of new cool features to help make this a more interactive experience for all!

YOU my friend are a part of an organization of hot messy people. YOU ARE ALL MEMBERS OF WWW.HOTMESS.ORG

Cordially yours,

Got a Hotmess?

Have you recently drawn on someone's face? Found a hot track? Barfed off a ferris wheel? Made or stumbled upon a great video? Poured gravy down your pants? Interested in advertising?


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If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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