Thursday, October 8, 2009

International NO KANYE DAY


Are you sick of hearing about Kanye? Are you sick of Kanye jokes? Interruptions played off as a bad Kanye impersonation? If you, like me are getting annoyed by even typing his name then please join me on international NO KANYE DAY. Where we simply just live our lives and appreciate the millions of other idiots in the world without giving just one idiot all of our attention. Let us remember that there were plenty of idiots before him...

and there will be plenty more idiots to come.

Printer Jam

Okay, songs that are made out of annoying sounds sometimes make that sound more tolerable.
Take for example this rad music video.


I might personally hire this producer to remix my mother making feel bad for not visiting enough.

p.s. if my printer ever turned into a giant crab I would fight it.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

PORTRAIT STUDIOS ARE THE NEW BURRITO

A quick question that I think needs to be addressed? Why did this fad die?


This was very much an intentional movement that often left puppies and children costumed and possibly forever fearful of the internet and it's powers to never forget.



I know there are countless blogs devoted to posting these vintage gems but no one is stepping up to the plate to take a swing at success in the Sears Portrait Studio.

Until now...

Blondtron and I did it and we challenge you to help us breathe new life into camera lenses everywhere.

This thanksgiving, pick your backdrop and revive family tradition.

Thom Yorke, you sneaky genius!



What's Thom Yorke of Radiohead doing on stage with Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the above picture you ask? How about being an awesomely sneaky bastard and playing new material to a crowd of 600 in LA!!!! HOW JEALOUS AM I?!?!?! Very.
Thom debuted a bunch of new songs with working titles like “Open the Floodgates,” “Skirting on the Surface,” and a potential new Radiohead track called “Lotus Flower” (which might also be called “Moon Upon a Stick”).

Check out how Flea drops the funk on Thom's song Harrowdown Hill!! What an awesome collaboration!

For all you "Fake Celebrity" Haters!!!

I recently read this open letter written by Frances Bean Cobain (Kurt Cobain's daughter) to Ali Lohan (Lindsay Lohan's sister, who is like 16 but looks 35 yrs old), which was featured on Perez Hilton's Blog

This letter will be loved by all those who hate those "Celebrities" who are FAMOUS for doing NOTHING!!!

"This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.

Your not entitled to anything simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't fame. It's infamy.You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous. Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there. Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for your self.I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person, but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement."


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

WONDER WOMAN



It has come to my attention that Wonder Woman will be played by Beyonce in the 2011 movie.
Idea for premise: Wonder Woman has to protect white teenage girls from the "Wicked Midget of the West"- played by...well...you know who.
Having your own superhero franchise in Hollywood is where it's at, but if the movie sucks it's game over!!

Just look at the evidence!

Superhero movies that made the careers of the actors who starred in them:
Batman Begins - Christian Bale
Spider-Man- Tobey McGuire
Batman with Michael Keaton
Superman- Christopher Reeve

Superhero movies that destroyed the careers of the actors who starred in them and the lives of everyone who saw them:
Daredevil- Ben Affleck
The Batman movie that starred Val Kilmer...as Batman...I know.. gross.
Both attempts at making The Punisher- Dolph Lundgren sucks!
Ghost Rider- Nicolas Cage sucks.
Elektra- Jennifer Garner
Judge Dread- Sylvester Stallone
Wolverine- Hugh Jackman- I had high hopes for this one but it was lame too!

I have my fingers crossed for you Beyonce. You too Ryan Reynolds.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dear hard left multimillionaires who hate Capitalism

Couldn't you get a better looking spokesperson than Michael Moore?!?!



Fahrenheit 9/11 was the highest grossing general release political film of all time. Regardless of what relevant points Michael Moore might make in this film regarding the current state of the American economy, don't kid yourself....he's been laughing his way to the bank for years. American Capitalism has served him well.

Got a Hotmess?

Have you recently drawn on someone's face? Found a hot track? Barfed off a ferris wheel? Made or stumbled upon a great video? Poured gravy down your pants? Interested in advertising?

WE WANT YOUR HOTMESS!

email us at theshow@hotmess.org

If we post it the karma fairy will sneeze in your double gin and you'll feel really good about yourself.

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