The Evolution of the Halloween Slut (I hope I never have a daughter).

(Picture: Elvira- The Original Halloween Slut)

Hundreds of years ago Celtic people were hungry and frightened of everything. On Halloween, when it was believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world, early Celtic and European people thought that they would encounter spirits if they left their homes. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, people would wear masks when they left their homes after dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. On Halloween, to keep ghosts away from their houses, people would place bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter.

That was then.

Nowadays people are a lot less concerned about evil spirits and demonic possession and more concerned about GETTING LAID. Obviously Halloween had to evolve. The masks got a little less scary. The skirts, a LOT shorter. The boobs, faker. Suddenly, KABLAM, it's 2009 and being a horny, hard-bodied skank on Halloween is all the rage. No wait. Scratch that. IT'S A RELIGION.

It's the only time of year your girlfriend can unleash her secret dream of being a slutty nurse or cop, a dirty angel, a horny she-devil, a porn star, a trashy princess, Elvira- Mistress of the Dark or Angelina Jolie. Am I complaining? Of course NOT! I'm just saying I hope I never have a daughter.