Friday, January 16, 2009

Joaquin Phoenix are you jokequin' me?

So I did a little text talk with my friend Becky earlier today and she informed of the news.

It went like this:
Becky: Loved your Kanye West blog...made me laugh out loud...

Me: Aw shucks.

Becky: Blog about this cuz I think it's insane: Joaquin Phoenix is pursuing a career as a rap artist. His first album will be produced by P Diddy. Casey Affleck will film a doc about his journey from actor to rapper.

Me: Is it April the 1st today?

Becky: No.

Me: Am I dead?

Becky: Maybe a little inside.

Me: Excuse me while I wipe the vomit from my Joaquin Phoenix influenced beard..which I will now shave off and turn to life of crime because I no longer believe in anything.

Oh, it's true friends. Don't believe me? Here's the link:

Wow. Like what's his rap name going to be MC Cleft Lip? Here's another.

Someone commented on the above article by saying that "If Joaquin pulls this off right he'll be up there with Andy Kaufman."

I would have to agree with that statement. If this is some elaborate joke that Joaquin and his buddies came up with while drunk at a strip club and decided to act on for shits and giggles because they were bored with Hollywood and wanted to stir things up then the dude is a genius.

Unfortunately something deep in my soul tells me that this is not the case.

Like rap?!?!
Honestly, what the fuck?
If you really wanted a serious music career then why not do the Johnny Cash influenced countrified singer/ sogwriter thing. At least it's plausible! Weren't you nominated for an Oscar for rocking that style of shit in Walk the Line? Didn't you win a fucking Grammy?!?!?!?!?!? Me thinks you did.

All I can do is pray that you are a comic genius in disguise and this is your masterwork. You were so pissed that you didn't win the Oscar for Walk the Line ( just every other award) that you went all punk rock on the acting community, right?! You're pulling the wool over everyones eyes and just when you have us all believing the the hype you'll be all " PSYCHE bitches!" Right?
That's what I believe.
I have to.


1 comment:

blondtron said...

HOLY EFF... Can I be his DJ? PLEASE!!!

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