Sunday, May 3, 2009

Lush Etiquette

In an ongoing effort to understand the world around me and my place therein I have recently taken it upon myself to learn the finer points of LUSH ETIQUETTE.
What is lush etiquette you ask yourself? Well dear reader let me embellish.
 Have you ever noticed how some of your friends get drunker than others?
Have you also noticed that although many of those friends get equally wasted some of them seem to be able to getaway with more bullshit than others?
It's all about LUSH ETIQUETTE!
No matter how trashed you get some things are more acceptable than others, so pay attention, here's a list.
 According to the rules of Lush Etiquette it is:

1) OK to pee in the corner of your friend's bathroom while visiting from LA. 
2) NOT OK to eat your friend's Trivial Pursuit card after you get a question wrong when you're not visiting from're simply too "local" to pull it off.

3)OK to take a drunken road trip to New York (after taking it to the limit in your home town) on a whim because you saw just how much fun The Strokes made it look
 in that pictorial in Rolling Stone from like six years ago, but you still have the magazine.
4) Not OK to drive the car on the way to New York. 
4 a) also not ok to stop and take pictures of bears while drunk.

5) OK to laugh at your friend that's getting called out at the bar by a guy in a Panama Hat from Toronto because you " know him from that city."
6) NOT OK to to laugh at Torontonians. Ever. Even while sober, apparently.
6 a) Nor is it acceptable for Torontonians to laugh at themselves.

7) OK to shine.
8) NOT OK to shine too bright.

There are many more lessons but these are just a few I've learned on the road to a masters degree in LUSH ETIQUETTE.

1 comment:

Handsome Anderson said...

AH the lessons we learn.

PS. Number one is incorrect. It is definately not ok to pee in the corner of your friends bathroom. Unless you're ok with retaliation pee in your bed.

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