DO NOT BUMRUSH CELEBRITIES!

I bumrushed this guy. Not with my actual bum, I cold approached him in a grocery store for an interview on Hotmess.

It did not go well.

World, Do not bumrush famous people on the streets.

I'm a cool dude. I have some large celebrities I call my friends. That does not make bumrushing other celebrities you do not know OK.

Here's the scene:
I'm walk out of Jamba Juice the other day sending a text and almost ran the top of my head into the large front grill of Andy Samberg.

Me to Andy: "Oh Sorry."
Me to myself: "That's fucking Andy Samberg of SNL fame."

I was to meet a friend who was running late so with nothing but time to kill I sat in my car and watched Andy Samberg.(mistake 1)


My mind begins to wander I soon in my head I have walked up to Andy become his friends and we are filming digital shorts in my backyard. Andy and his writing partner Hugo get some juice and walk out of JJ's and into Ralphs grocery store. Perfect.

My mind begins to justify my thoughts.

Me to myself: "He's cool, right? He just finished hosting the MTV Movie awards, he comes from Internet sketch comedy beginnings like me. This will be great!"(mistake 2)

I get out of the car.(mistake 3)

I stalk Andy Samberg into Ralphs. (mistake 4)

I see him and Hugo milling around by the salsa and fuck it, I approach.(mistake 5)

Me:"Hi, Andy?"
Andy:"Yeah?"

OK, here is the deal. What ever scenario you have worked out in your head before hand DOESN'T FUCKING WORK. The moment you open your mouth the shit hits the fan. Everything that follows is awkward, cold and you feel like a numbskull.

Me:"I was wondering... I have this radio show with some friends... it's in Vancouver... you shot Hot Rod there right?"
Andy: looks at me like I have a penis on my forehead.
Andy's Buddy Hugo: "Cool."(he sees my pain and is trying to help me through it)
Me:"We are big fans... how do we get you on the show?"

I'm a moron. Everyone knows celebrities have publicists if you want an interview you call THEM. Things contiuned on like this for a while. Everyone was looking for a smooth way out. He gave me the name of his publicists company and I babbled about how I never do this and how sorry I was.

Me:"OoooooooooooK thanks... man..."

I make the walk of shame down isle 4 to the exit feeling cheap and flustered.

In LA there are many opportunities to come in contact with celebrities but I have ALWAYS left them alone because that is what they want... TO BE LEFT THE FUCK ALONE!

I sent an email to his publicist and still haven't heard back. I still think it would be cool to have him on the show so I am gonna keep trying but this is not the way to get an interview, or a photo or a autograph people. No one likes to be bugged in a grocery store. I don't like it and they defiantly don't like it.
Bumrush Fail.

Handsome in Hollywood