The Hinterland's Who's Who of Douchebaggery

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A letter to the O.A.B.B.C.

Dear O.A.B.B.C.,
The truth is there are people out there who have always wanted to be an ugly old baby aging backwards. It's their fetish. Though we know this is wrong, is it our place to judge these people for what they truly are deep down inside their ugly old man-baby souls? Can't we help create a community of understanding and compassion? Can't we help these "Button-lovers"get back on track and lead healthy normal lives?
Perhaps if the O.A.B.B.C. started some kind of therapy group you could aid these poor souls and give them the guidance they so desperately require.
Cordially yours,
Jay

If you hate this movie or need help check out this blog:

http://nobenjaminbutton.wordpress.com

Fog- all over my face!

Hey is this Vancouver or Stephen King's The Mist?!?!?!

It looks nice above this shit but seriously what's going on below is weak sauce- a week straight?!?!?! Save me Boy 8-Bit!! Here's a song about fog.

BOY 8-BIT- FOG BANK ( JACK BEATS REMIX) click Fog- all over my face! (the blog title above) to hear the tracksssss.

Chinese Democracy - Redux

Check out this wicked G N' R mashup yo!!!!http://hypem.com/popup.php?current_url=L3NlYXJjaC9ndW5zJTIwbiUyMHJvc2VzLzEv&list=eNozNzQ1NzPWMTcwMzWz0DGzNDQ3MtYBAC8RBD4%3D

Regarding CHINESE DEMOCRACY: I know the album came out a while ago... but I wanted time to really absorb it into my spongy brain before I gave my opinion.


I wanted to put the album in a pot on my stove along with secret herbs and spices and let it simmer for 72 hours to create a rock suace of such tastiness that I could serve it up to you a la carte with course after course of delicious delights.

I wanted to analyse the album scientifically. I wanted to put on a white lab coat and boil it down to it's baser elements in a chemistry lab thereby extracting each of it's primal ingredients.

I wanted to listen to Guns N' Fuckin' Roses entire catalogue one album after another and compare each note for note while watching a visual montage of the band through the ages. I wanted to try to have an unbiased ear. I wanted to put aside what I felt about cornrows (as a hairstyle) and what appears to be some light botox work on Axl's formerly angelic face and just "hear" the music.

I wanted to be right about what I liked and wrong about what I didn't.
I wanted the last 17 years of chaotic world events to be summed up musically.
I wanted Hell to freeze over and the angels to piss their names in the snow.
So I listened and ultimately came to the conclusion that my opinion doesn't mean fuck all.

What do you think?

www.myspace.com/gunsnroses

Jay

HELL YES.

Okay Hell to the YES. Finally. I just got all teary eyed at my desk watching this historic day go down! Never before has a young generation been so inspired, I mean HOLY CRAP, you know you're a cool president if deejays are mashing you up with Daft Punk and kids are getting off to it on the dance floor. DJ Adam Freeland remixed Daft Punks Aerodynamic with OBAMA, basically it's audiopolitical porno, Aer -Obama... grab it and get down.

GOLD, a director duo of Richard Farmer and Sinuhe Xavier made this stop motion, animated mixed media video for the track.

Daft Punk vs. Adam Freeland - "Aer OBAMA" from Gold Greendot on Vimeo.

Blondtron + Lil Wayne + Pharell = Sexiest polyandric marriage of all time

Listen up. I heart them, I can't help it. I can deal with my grandmas horror when I bring home a guy with tattoos on his face. Wheezy and Pharell are on my top ten for life.... I thought this new lil gem was a dubstep remix, but no, it's the original. See... if I married both of them these kind of tracks would be coming out allll the time. Our power couple (trouple?) name would be Lil Bleezell... okay I'm still working on the conjugation.

The new U2 single

Get on Your Boots is getting trashed on the net. Perez Hilton and his band of merry bloggers decided that this single from the up coming album No Line on the Horizon wasn't any good. They're idiots.

In fact, U2 have done it again. They've taken their sound and flipped the switch. They did it when they made the transition from Rattle and Hum to Achtung Baby.
They did it when they put out Pop. They're doing it again.
They are one of the few bands in the world who aren't afraid to take risks and experiment with their sound. Some think they've had mixed results. I say that those people are mixed nuts. Just kidding but really it's just a matter of personal opinion. All That You Can't Leave Behind is my least favorite U2 album but the world loved it. I loved Pop; the masses didn't. The truth is there are enough versions of U2 to please almost anybody and that's an impressive feat.

As for the new single....

Regardless of your personal feelings for Bono and his lightly coloured glasses there is no way you deny this track is catchy.

Check out the new single Get On Your Boots at:
http://goyb.u2.com/

Joaquin Phoenix are you jokequin' me?

So I did a little text talk with my friend Becky earlier today and she informed of the news.






It went like this:
Becky: Loved your Kanye West blog...made me laugh out loud...

Me: Aw shucks.

Becky: Blog about this cuz I think it's insane: Joaquin Phoenix is pursuing a career as a rap artist. His first album will be produced by P Diddy. Casey Affleck will film a doc about his journey from actor to rapper.

Me: Is it April the 1st today?

Becky: No.

Me: Am I dead?

Becky: Maybe a little inside.

Me: Excuse me while I wipe the vomit from my Joaquin Phoenix influenced beard..which I will now shave off and turn to life of crime because I no longer believe in anything.

Oh, it's true friends. Don't believe me? Here's the link:
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=10e9f7b3-b41b-4992-841c-3484ff31c454

Wow. Like what's his rap name going to be MC Cleft Lip? Here's another.
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/01/16/joaquin-phoenixs-next-big-role-rapper-co-signed-by-diddy/

Someone commented on the above article by saying that "If Joaquin pulls this off right he'll be up there with Andy Kaufman."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQlB99WCuk

I would have to agree with that statement. If this is some elaborate joke that Joaquin and his buddies came up with while drunk at a strip club and decided to act on for shits and giggles because they were bored with Hollywood and wanted to stir things up then the dude is a genius.

Unfortunately something deep in my soul tells me that this is not the case.

Like rap?!?!
Honestly, what the fuck?
If you really wanted a serious music career then why not do the Johnny Cash influenced countrified singer/ sogwriter thing. At least it's plausible! Weren't you nominated for an Oscar for rocking that style of shit in Walk the Line? Didn't you win a fucking Grammy?!?!?!?!?!? Me thinks you did.

All I can do is pray that you are a comic genius in disguise and this is your masterwork. You were so pissed that you didn't win the Oscar for Walk the Line ( just every other award) that you went all punk rock on the acting community, right?! You're pulling the wool over everyones eyes and just when you have us all believing the the hype you'll be all " PSYCHE bitches!" Right?
That's what I believe.
I have to.

J

Kanye West is stone cold crazy as fuck.

Which leads me to the question: Is a person's level of craziness proportional to the amount of money and/or celebrity they have? It seems that way to me.

I don't have to mention any OTHER names, you know who these celebs are...you know the ones who have lost the plot somewhere along the line. The ones who left their baby momma/ daddy for their Puerto Rican dancer or lawn guy. The ones who's plastic surgeon fucked up their nose one too many times causing them to shave their head and flash their vahhhhhhhhina for a picture posse hanging outside the gates of their ranch in the hills or at The Ivy. Maybe I'm amalgamating all troubled celebs into one giant SUPERCELEB, but I do it to make a point. My point is this: For all of the madness that we've payed witness to by our famous friends, I truly believe that Kanye West is the fucking craziest of them all.


I saw it during a 2005 benefit for Hurricane Katrina victims.
http://www.scandalist.com/2008-08-04/13-kanye-west-says-george-bush-doesnt-care-about-black-people/

I've seen it whenever he's won an award.
http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/2008/11/23/Kanye_West_I_wanna_be_Elvis/UPI-70821227493036/

And this latest tidbit of info is just the icing on the cake.
http://blog.inmusic.ca/inmusic/2009/01/kanye-wants-to-pose-naked.html

No Kanye, we don't want to see you naked. Even people who love your music don't want to see you naked. Even my friend's horny sister doesn't want to see you naked.
The only way anyone would EVER want to see you naked is if you were pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair, and even that's a stretch....and disgusting to think about.

Creepy, crazy and really a pointless exercise.

Like what? You're going to show the world that you can make popular music plus you have a six pack to boot? Why would you even waste your time? It's the sign of someone with MASSIVE insecurities and it's Ker-A-Zeeeee.

I would rather be captured by Commies after running from schrapnel in a post-apocalyptic warzone while trying to save endangered Siberian Tiger cubs before I just up and told the world that they needed to see me naked. Then again, I'm still carrying some extra holiday weight.

Keep in mind, crazy to me is not necessarily a negative thing. I'm loopy as shit.
In Kanye's case I think he might just be a poor, misguided soul surrounded by yes men. His heart may be in the right place, after all he's done some positive things for hip hop, his culture, sticking up for gay rights etc., but man oh MAN can you please cool your jets a bit?!

If this is the type of stuff you're willing to do to stay a relevant media topic, then I fear for your future. That whole "I'm a rebel who can do and say anything, but I can also handle my business" thing went out of style when Madonna made her sex book...and she did it better.

I kind of like that Gold Digger track though.

http://hypem.com/popup.php?current_url=L3NlYXJjaC9nb2xkJTIwZGlnZ2VyLzEv&list=eNoNjMENAEAIwhbioSio%2By9292pIQyd5K%2FgmLuDh%2FqVb66DdoiG6TPRK2R8RXrTn%2FqHtqfpg87uQO1C%2FlUY5VUQpOAPmXAXyLoN4pYUX4g%3D%3D

J

People love lists...

so we're going to give some to you.

To kick it all off I'm giving you my list of favorite albums from 2008.

1. The Seldom Seen Kid - Elbow

Basically the song "Grounds for Divorce" is one of the coolest things I've ever heard. What makes it even better is that the band came on the tv show I produce in Vancouver and played it acoustically. Two guitars, one harmonica and five person vocal harmonies. Sadly Elbow are an extremely underrated band. Buy this and then buy their albums "Leaders of the Free World" and " Cast of Thousands." Most of it's pretty chill but if all you ever wanted was an earful of techno dance beats then you'd be fairly one dimensional wouldn't you? Yes, you would.

www.myspace.com/elbowmusic

2. Only By The Night - Kings of Leon

I'm told that the ladies love these heartthrob hicks from the backwaters of Tennessee cuz they look good in a tight plaid shirt and hang out with Drew Barrymore. Did they sign on to be the next poster boys for the Hollywould-you-indie-rock-me-right-out-of-my-skin-tight-jeans scene? I doubt it. There's too much sincerity here. Great highway album.

www.myspace.com/kingsofleon

3. In the Future- Black Mountain

This album feels like I went back in time to 1975, stole back the Sports Almanac from my nemesis, came back to 2008, realized that it was just the sports almanac dust jacket containing a French porno mag, and suddenly all the music had changed (because there had beena temperal disturbance in 1975 thus changing the current 2008 into an alternate 2008) .
Seventies-style prog rock in 2008. Updated for the beat generation. This will rock a wusses ass.

www.myspace.com/blackmountain

4. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes

Likewise the Fleet Foxes sound like they're from a bygone era. Think the song Sea of Love as interpreted by My Morning Jacket and that's kind of the vibe I'm getting here.

www.myspace.com/fleetfoxes

5. Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!! - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Nick Cave is a fucking genius.

www.myspace.com/nickcaveandthebadseeds

6. Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains (LP)

So everyone was all like DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979 is the best Canadian band of all time! They were right. Then DFA went on a world tour and came back DOA. People were sad. Then the bass player became the spokesperson for some power tools and created a band named after them call MSTRKRFT. The drummer/singer took his sweet ass time but finally created this gem. Renegade Silence has been my theme song for months.

www.myspace.com/sebastiengrainger

7. Heads Off - The Hellacopters

These Swedes make better rock 'n roll than you or your friends could ever hope to make.

www.myspace.com/hellacopters

8. Oracular Spectacular- MGMT

Some people think that these magical midget pixies are from another planet and they've come here to show us how the make music in the eighth dimension. Other people like my friend Trevor Risk fucking hate this band.

www.myspace.com/mgmt

9. Modern Guilt - Beck

When Beck played Vancouver he did this three or four song set midway through the concert where he whipped out his iPhone and made songs with it. People rejoiced like they'd just seen some real next level shit. I walked away from that concert asking my self one crucial question: How does Beck keep making better hip hop then most full fledged hip hop artists without even trying?

www.myspace.com/beck

10. Missiles - The Dears

This album is so explosively intense that while it was being made most of the members of the band couldn't handle it and quit. This is The Dears White Album. It's amazing. Singer Murray Lightburn has symphonies in his head. This album made me cry steel tears of joy.

www.myspace.com/thedears

11. London Zoo - The Bug

The Bug crawled into my skull. It hasn't left yet. I think it laid some eggs. I might need to go to the doctor.

www.myspace.com/thebuguk

That's it.

Jay

Moments

We have all had them, a moment that makes us pause and think ! Sometimes it's a song on the radio, a conversation with a friend, for me it was a sunset! A pretty amazing sunset, sometimes we don't even have the time to appreciate them but on this particular day, I had the time and I did. WOW ! It's kinda crazy how caught up in one thing or another we can become. But the question is what the hell can we do to find a balance between, fun, work, friends.. I try to bring them together, for some of you that doesn't work? I'd love to hear what you guys have planned for 2009 and what you plan on doing to make it better than 2008.

Best

Vintage

THE FUTURE OF HOTMESS

It's 2009 and we're feelin' fine!

So good in fact that we're willing to give away our shows for free! Just go to the iTunes stores and search for hotmess podcast. Click subscribe and you're on your way to maximum hilarity and kick ass music.

Wow 2009. I remember partying like it was 1999 like it was yesterday. Time seems to be speeding up. This has made me think about the future of our podcast and blog. I have a vision...

One day in the future people will look back at said podcast and listen with wonder. It's like a sexy timecapsule that will be used to study early 21st century man.


In the future robots will do the robot to the music we play.

When they unfreeze Walt Disney he'll likely dedicate a theme park to us.

Aliens will stop killing people by planting eggs in their chests and spitting acid in their faces. Instead, they'll just chill and have a retro-electro dance party(they're dancing together in the picture). They'll draw up a ceasefire with Predator and the universe will know peace.

Future earthlings will erect statues of erect penises in our honour.

Humanity will advance so much because of our podcast that we will acheive the singularity. Suddenly mankind will be able to perceive all time and space at once and the future will be so bright that babies will be born wearing shades.

So check it out y'all and remember this moment in time. We're making history.
BOOOOO YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.

Jay

Hot Mess Happu New Year

Ok, so here is the scoope, Vintage is a serious hot mess. It's 2009 I am in Beverly Hills California and I am still comepletely wasted. This is not how I wanted to ring in 2009 buy I have no choice 3 quarters of a 40 of vodka later Katy Perry LMFO and the Paramount Studios later here I am blogging at 3am barely able to type and trying so hard to be sober. Hope you all have a kick ass start to 2009 and a continiuing of a great year ! !!!! Please help me lift my drunk ass off the floor. it is sad how long it took me to type this blog...



vintage

The Great Blog

Ok so I had this really funny blog planned out that only worked with the amazing picture that I took at 711 last night, but my phone got fucking Jacked. Yes thats right, here is me at the gym working out, phone in locker and I go to leave, hmm why is my locker open I know I locked it. Oh look its still locked but the door is open and oh look my bag is empty. Karma to you thieves thats all I have to say is Karma is a muther fucking bitch !

Vintage

The Snow

I'm blogging as I sit here at a bus station, surprisingly not that
cold, rocking out to Use Somebody by the Kings of Leon, the snow
continues to filter from above like never ending confetti cannons at a
Mika concert. The entire landscape looks like it's under renovations
and someone's thrown drop clothes to protect everything including
the trees. How Lucky are you Mr. Anderson, off to all things warm and sunny, I hope your flight was
able to take off to the Dominican today. Snow it's a funny weather
phenomen, as much as I hate the damn stuff it's really cool how tuff
situtions seem to bring everyone together, people helping you push
your stuck car, picking you up when you fall. I'll be happy to see it
all melt away but it has had a little charm to it.
From me an all the hot mess crew get around safe out there and be good
to each other out there in winterland.

Brrr

Vintage

Old New? New Old?

Ok so the Hot Mess Crew is so Damn Yummy looking that people are just lining up to take our picture.. Hah Hah, no seriously Sam and Matt tested their modeling skills for Foxhuntvintage.com your online portal for all things vintage and funky. Check out the site for some super sick photos of our two hosts coming very very soon.

Holla

Vintage

My favorite porn is Jurrasic Pork

This baby mammoth, discovered in north-western Siberia, is the best preserved specimen of its kind ever found on planet earth...it's likely there are even better specimens on Hoth, or Elephantitus 4 in the Trunkular Galaxy, but I digress.

I know this is old news but all of the recent Vancouver snow has reminded me of this story as mammoths liked living in snowy climates because they were such good skiers.

In turn this story of prehistoric discovery has reminded me how fucking stupid people are.

You see this little tike's trunk and fur were so well preserved that scientists think they can extract enough undamaged DNA to play god and/or the kids from Weird Science and make some of these hairy bastards in their graduated cylinders. The problem is they couldn't find the righ bras to wear on their heads.

Oh, the other problem is that it's a dumb idea. Shit happens for a reason. Species die. So does your grandma. Get over it. Re-introducing these or any other extinct animals into our world will have negative consequences. Jurrasic Park told us so. If you don't know what I'm talking about rent that shit or better yet read the book. Potential dormant ancient diseases, mammoth stampedes, tusks in my anus. These things scare me.

After 10,000 years of laying in it's final resting place this baby was dug up only to be poked and prodded by a room full of nerds. How would you like it if 100 years from now Dilbert, House and Dr. Octopus dug up your bones and desecrated your tomb?

You'd be pissed and your ghost would likely haunt them.

In the words of the creepy old guy from Pet Cemetary "sometimes dead is better."

We have a Christmas show this Friday. Hot Mess 101.9fm 6- 7:30pm.

Jay

The best blog ever, aside from this blog, obviously.

Okay, so my friend sent me this blog Fuck You Penguin! because she thought I'd like it, and she was wrong, I don't like it, I don't even love it, I AM OBSESSED WITH IT. So please, after you've worshipped our blog, like, a lot, go check out this blog and read every single post, because animals should be put in their place. Here are two of my favourites....

Swans are nature's Porsche Drivers...

You know, there was once an ugly duckling who got picked on all of the time by the other ducks, who couldn't understand why the duckling was so ugly. But then it turned out that duckling wasn't really a duck at all, but was in fact a TOTAL FUCKING DICK.

Take this world-class douche, for example. Everyone is just hanging out, having a good time, and Mr. "My wingspan is bigger than yours" decides to unload on the scene. Even his swan friend is embarrassed. He probably does it all the fucking time because let's be honest: that's just what swans do. Me personally, I wouldn't be caught dead with a fucking swan.

Red "Panda" Trying to Steal Panda Thunder...

Ummm... Excuse me? Red Panda? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO FOOL. This is a panda, you little sneaky jerk-off. Just because you are holding bamboo doesn't make you a panda, BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED. You are a fox or a raccoon, or some kind of rodent or something.

Where did you have this picture taken anyway, Sears? Are you that desperate to prevent your species from total annihilation?

This bear is essentially raping my soul

So basically this totally thoughtless motherfucker decided regular bears weren't cute enough. His solution? GIVE HIMSELF NATURAL FUCKING EYEGLASSES. Then, becoming the single cutest animal on the face of the earth, he laid on his fucking back so we could all see his goddamn belly, and then furtively glanced in our direction, thereby rendering any potential defense against his advances totally useless. Well played, Bear. I'm going to go take a shower now.

Take Off - Two of our CO-Hosts Lock it down for some hot Photos

This is where Hot Mess Comes From

Yes we do broadcast from the clean and classy CITR studios. Maybe they should spend some of the cash money from their fundraiser on a fuckin swiffer. Hah !