Wet N Wild

PICS FROM OUR DOPE ASS PHOTOSHOOT!

More to come!!

JAY

Hotmess Rocks the Redbull 3Style Vancouver!

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Who is the most Versatile DJ of them all?

Hotmess had too much fun last Friday night at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancity for the Red Bull 3Style DJ competition... How much fun? TOO MUCH.

Red Bull hooked us up with an all access pass to one of the sickest parties you'll ever find in our fair city... if you missed it, you better mark it down for next year cuz it's gonna be nuts. Watch below to find out who was crowned Vancouver's Most Versatile DJ... He will be heading off to T.O. to represent Vancity in the Nationals!

http://www.gmanandrizk.com/
http://www.redbull.ca/


Jay Awesome and Handsome

Blondtron Gettin Money

Oh haiii.... I made a new mix. I'm not going to talk about it. Because as we say on Hot Mess.... talking about music is like dancing about architecture. John McCain said that, little known fact.

Blondtron Gettin' Money

Tracklisting:
Knights Crusade (Terry Lynn vs. Crystal Castles)-Wildlife
Champion (Cousin Cole Acid Dub SLOW)-Kanye West
I'm Every Woman-Chaka Kahn
Dance- Rick Atsley Vs. Lady Gaga
Little Bit (CSS Remix)-Lykke Li
No Diggity (Pink Enemy DJ Skeet Skeet Remix)-Blackstreet
Everybody Everybody-Black Box
WTF (Deekline & Ed Solo Remix) -Tittsworth
Groovin' You (Morsy Mix)-Harvey Mason
Love Is In The Air- Smoke & Mirrors
Jump In Line (Shake Shake Senora) (John Bourke Bmore Mix) - Raymond Bell
Down In L.A. - Shazam Remix - Munk
Big Dancin - Bounce Camp
My Boyfriends Back - The Angels
Tone-LoC - Wild Thing feat. Peaches (Bobby Evans Minimal Edit)

SuperBowel

SuperBowel is a new product idea I came up with. it's a 100% high fibre medicine designed to keep the old men who entertain us at the Superbowl half-time show regular. It's basically liquid Drano for the lower-intestine. There's no reason that Bruce Springsteen should feel constipated before he gets on that stage to bore the shit out of me.








Sorry "Boss" but I couldn't enjoy the party cuz I was too worried your knees would snap as you twisted and shouted your way around the stage.

I totally respect some of your older work, like NEBRASKA is a potent and sobering look at the American condition, but seriously it's time to put this shit to rest. That means you too Tom Petty and DON"T EVEN get me started on the Rolling Stones.

Here's something for the kids....

SUPERBOWL MIX



Jay

Ferry List

Alright, while the rest of the hotmess crew is out covering the RedBull 3styles competition I decided to get away to the Island. We here at the mess are going to get crazy busy so a little calm before the storm can't hurt. Here I sit on the ferry, it's 8pm and dark... and jack all to do except rock my pod so what better reason than to make a nice little playlist.

Serioulsy? I just looked over at the screens and BCFerries is playing a rousing episode of the Cheetah Girls! Look BC Ferries, don't you know that Disney is Shit! And all you over 12 year olds that are wearing your Tinkerbell swearshirts and Goofy hats right now, grow the fuck up, you look like an idiot and your friends are just too nice to tell you!

On to the music, Now as per Jay's request I'm putting out a call to all you DJ's out there he would like a nice remix of Elton Johns' "Island Girl" that way we could add it to our playlist and Awesome Jay would be oh so happy !



I kick off my Ferry playlist with some tracks from Common's latest Album "Universal Mind Contral" I particularily enjoy the title track, along with "Make My Day" which features Cee-Lo. Is the same Cee-Lo that had a rabbit in his hat? Finally I get to listening to "Announcement" it Features Pharell, nuff said.



Next, I got a little Fall Out Boy.. I bet your thinking Fall out Boy? Really? Yes it is true I am 15%emo, 20% Ed Hardy Douchebag, 20% American Apparel Hipster, 15% Gossip Girl watching 13 year old and 30% Eddy so get over it! So the Fall Out Boy track is "Tiffany Blews" off of "Folie A Deux" the songs says please remix me so I sit and listen to the original in anticipation of what some of you musical masterminds out there can do.



NEXT! Robyn, Robyn is great, she has been around for a while and now has a kinda new, album. I'm sure Blondtron is reading this and thinking about 95 reasons the swedish popstar is shite, but it is what it is! I'm listening to a Roger Sanchez remix of "Be Mine" which is actually not that good, but it made me think of the original which is really good so listen to the original, or another remix Im sure there is a good one out there, just not one by Roger Sanchez,thanks 1995!



Ok Almost Done "LMFAO" these guys are gonna rip your face off, but in a good way. There single "I am not a Whoare" Bumps your brain on the sides of your skull, and their live performance is wicked good. There album will be dropping soon, so check em out, and remember you heard it here first on hotmess.org

There you have it a few tracks to listen to when you have a long set of travel ahead of you and nothing else to do.. but again as Mr. Awesome always says
"Talking about Music is like Dancing about Architecture" so buy some music and make your own opinions, hell send them over to us, we might even post them up on here or talk about it in the podcasts.. theshow@hotmess.org

Vintage !

Battle for DJ supremacy!

In the same way that Captain Kirk often battles strange creatures from far away worlds so too will many of Vancouver's top DJ's battle each other tonight at the Commodore Ballroom...to the death. Well maybe not but it will be a BLOODY good time!

Kicking off tonight in the 604, Red Bull 3Style will travel across the country searching for Canada’s most versatile Party-Rock DJ. At each event, 8 local DJ’s will perform for 15 minutes each with only one simple rule in mind: play at least 3 genres of music as 5 judges will evaluate each performer based on creativity, track selection, skills, stage presence, and audience response.

All 10 local market winners will compete at the Red Bull 3Style National Final happening on March 12 in Toronto. http://www.redbull.ca/

Being the krazy kool kats that we are, naturally we had to be there! We'll bring you the results of the Van competition soon right here via video podcast! And who knows, if you're there tonight you might even end up on our show!

Tonight's Competitors:

Neoteric www.myspace.com/djneoteric

Arems www.myspace.com/djarems

My Gay Husband www.myspace.com/mygayhusband

Tyler Fedchuk www.myspace.com/tylerfedchuk

Marvel www.myspace.com/marvelousmervs

PLUS Rico Uno, P Luv and Marlon J English

The Rock Bible: The Word or Blasphemy?

I recently found this book on the bedside table of a rent-by-the-minute room in a third-rate hotel, located on the other side of the tracks in a second-rate city. It was covered with liquor stains, cigarette burns and some of the pages were stuck together.

I couldn't really read it ...cuz I was drunk, but the teenage groupies I was with gave me the gist.
These are the TEN COMMANDMENTS of rock according to some guy who probably has a bald man ponytail or sports a skullet. While I agree with most of what's written in the scripture I have to take issue with Commandments numbers 2 and 3. If you disagree as well and want to tell the "prophet" author Henry Owings to SLAG OFF you can find him here http://www.quirkbooks.com/.

(ABOVE: possibly named Henry Owings)

The Rock Bible Ten Commandments
I. “Do not name your band after another current band’s song or album. Come to think of it, don’t name your band after any song or album. Nobody cares about your ‘good’ taste.”
II. “Turntables are not, nor have they ever been, a musical instrument.” - Uh, hello RUN DMC and Aerosmith.That's the exact moment turntables became a rock instrument. Fuck.
III. “Using your computer on stage means you’re as likely to be checking your e-mail as you are to be performing music.” - Last time I checked NIN rocked and so do many dj's REGARDLESS of the "genre" of music they play you Skynyrd loving fossil fuck face.
IV. “Never personally master your own recordings unless you really don’t want anyone to listen to them.”
V. “Everybody thinks they’re funny. Most people aren’t, especially soundmen.”
VI. “Few singers are allowed to drape scarves on microphone stands. You are not one of them.”
VII. “Rhythm guitar players should always look like they want to be somewhere else.”
VIII. “Those who figure they will play bass because it has two fewer strings than a guitar and is therefore easier to learn should probably just hold cases that hold guitars and basses.”
IX. “Singers who tell the audience to ‘Give it up for yourselves!’ should be attacked by hyenas.”
X. “Never spend more time on your hair than you would eating a modest-sized meal.”

As far as I'm concerned the dinosaur who wrote this is the one being blasphemous. I'm not without sin but I'll cast the first stone your way Owings. Those who agree feel free to join my cult, we're taking name suggestions. WE'LL WRITE OUR OWN BOOK! I promise I won't make you drink the Kool-Aid.

Jay

LAST TIME I CHECKED JACKNIFE LEE ROCKS AND USES COMPUTERS. CHECK THIS.

A little Dark, A Little Wet

We decided as a group to get wet and have sum fun, however we kept our clothes on the whole time. Expect more great fun hotmess pics to come soon !

Vintage

Recession Rock

When Weezer and Oasis start touring together you know times are tough.
http://www.rollingstone.com/blogs/smokingsection/2008/12/weezer-update.php

According to my friend Kheav we will see more and more unlikely double bills in the future and can now refer to this phenomenon as RECESSION ROCK. (Pictured: Me and professional roadie Henri H.M.C. McFuncow)

Big names with completely different sounds combining forces to bring you the concert goer the most bang for your buck.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. Like Oasis and the Black Crowes I could understand but never in my life have I been all "I need to make a mix tape with BUDDY HOLLY on it! Then what I'll do see is I'll put WONDERWALL right after it. I'll play the tape in my '87 Bronco 2 on the way to the concert and my friends will think it's totally sweet. They'll appreciate the time I put into it and I'll blow their minds when they hear the transition from WHAT'S THE STORY ( MORNING GLORY) into HASH PIPE. Maybe we'll roll down the windows and sing along real loud and let the world know that we wished the 90's never died." I miss my Doc Martens.

My WEEZER interview from Urban Rush

Peace. Jay

The Hinterland's Who's Who of Douchebaggery

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A letter to the O.A.B.B.C.

Dear O.A.B.B.C.,
The truth is there are people out there who have always wanted to be an ugly old baby aging backwards. It's their fetish. Though we know this is wrong, is it our place to judge these people for what they truly are deep down inside their ugly old man-baby souls? Can't we help create a community of understanding and compassion? Can't we help these "Button-lovers"get back on track and lead healthy normal lives?
Perhaps if the O.A.B.B.C. started some kind of therapy group you could aid these poor souls and give them the guidance they so desperately require.
Cordially yours,
Jay

If you hate this movie or need help check out this blog:

http://nobenjaminbutton.wordpress.com

Fog- all over my face!

Hey is this Vancouver or Stephen King's The Mist?!?!?!

It looks nice above this shit but seriously what's going on below is weak sauce- a week straight?!?!?! Save me Boy 8-Bit!! Here's a song about fog.

BOY 8-BIT- FOG BANK ( JACK BEATS REMIX) click Fog- all over my face! (the blog title above) to hear the tracksssss.

Chinese Democracy - Redux

Check out this wicked G N' R mashup yo!!!!http://hypem.com/popup.php?current_url=L3NlYXJjaC9ndW5zJTIwbiUyMHJvc2VzLzEv&list=eNozNzQ1NzPWMTcwMzWz0DGzNDQ3MtYBAC8RBD4%3D

Regarding CHINESE DEMOCRACY: I know the album came out a while ago... but I wanted time to really absorb it into my spongy brain before I gave my opinion.


I wanted to put the album in a pot on my stove along with secret herbs and spices and let it simmer for 72 hours to create a rock suace of such tastiness that I could serve it up to you a la carte with course after course of delicious delights.

I wanted to analyse the album scientifically. I wanted to put on a white lab coat and boil it down to it's baser elements in a chemistry lab thereby extracting each of it's primal ingredients.

I wanted to listen to Guns N' Fuckin' Roses entire catalogue one album after another and compare each note for note while watching a visual montage of the band through the ages. I wanted to try to have an unbiased ear. I wanted to put aside what I felt about cornrows (as a hairstyle) and what appears to be some light botox work on Axl's formerly angelic face and just "hear" the music.

I wanted to be right about what I liked and wrong about what I didn't.
I wanted the last 17 years of chaotic world events to be summed up musically.
I wanted Hell to freeze over and the angels to piss their names in the snow.
So I listened and ultimately came to the conclusion that my opinion doesn't mean fuck all.

What do you think?

www.myspace.com/gunsnroses

Jay

HELL YES.

Okay Hell to the YES. Finally. I just got all teary eyed at my desk watching this historic day go down! Never before has a young generation been so inspired, I mean HOLY CRAP, you know you're a cool president if deejays are mashing you up with Daft Punk and kids are getting off to it on the dance floor. DJ Adam Freeland remixed Daft Punks Aerodynamic with OBAMA, basically it's audiopolitical porno, Aer -Obama... grab it and get down.

GOLD, a director duo of Richard Farmer and Sinuhe Xavier made this stop motion, animated mixed media video for the track.

Daft Punk vs. Adam Freeland - "Aer OBAMA" from Gold Greendot on Vimeo.

Blondtron + Lil Wayne + Pharell = Sexiest polyandric marriage of all time

Listen up. I heart them, I can't help it. I can deal with my grandmas horror when I bring home a guy with tattoos on his face. Wheezy and Pharell are on my top ten for life.... I thought this new lil gem was a dubstep remix, but no, it's the original. See... if I married both of them these kind of tracks would be coming out allll the time. Our power couple (trouple?) name would be Lil Bleezell... okay I'm still working on the conjugation.

The new U2 single

Get on Your Boots is getting trashed on the net. Perez Hilton and his band of merry bloggers decided that this single from the up coming album No Line on the Horizon wasn't any good. They're idiots.

In fact, U2 have done it again. They've taken their sound and flipped the switch. They did it when they made the transition from Rattle and Hum to Achtung Baby.
They did it when they put out Pop. They're doing it again.
They are one of the few bands in the world who aren't afraid to take risks and experiment with their sound. Some think they've had mixed results. I say that those people are mixed nuts. Just kidding but really it's just a matter of personal opinion. All That You Can't Leave Behind is my least favorite U2 album but the world loved it. I loved Pop; the masses didn't. The truth is there are enough versions of U2 to please almost anybody and that's an impressive feat.

As for the new single....

Regardless of your personal feelings for Bono and his lightly coloured glasses there is no way you deny this track is catchy.

Check out the new single Get On Your Boots at:
http://goyb.u2.com/

Joaquin Phoenix are you jokequin' me?

So I did a little text talk with my friend Becky earlier today and she informed of the news.






It went like this:
Becky: Loved your Kanye West blog...made me laugh out loud...

Me: Aw shucks.

Becky: Blog about this cuz I think it's insane: Joaquin Phoenix is pursuing a career as a rap artist. His first album will be produced by P Diddy. Casey Affleck will film a doc about his journey from actor to rapper.

Me: Is it April the 1st today?

Becky: No.

Me: Am I dead?

Becky: Maybe a little inside.

Me: Excuse me while I wipe the vomit from my Joaquin Phoenix influenced beard..which I will now shave off and turn to life of crime because I no longer believe in anything.

Oh, it's true friends. Don't believe me? Here's the link:
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=10e9f7b3-b41b-4992-841c-3484ff31c454

Wow. Like what's his rap name going to be MC Cleft Lip? Here's another.
http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/01/16/joaquin-phoenixs-next-big-role-rapper-co-signed-by-diddy/

Someone commented on the above article by saying that "If Joaquin pulls this off right he'll be up there with Andy Kaufman."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQlB99WCuk

I would have to agree with that statement. If this is some elaborate joke that Joaquin and his buddies came up with while drunk at a strip club and decided to act on for shits and giggles because they were bored with Hollywood and wanted to stir things up then the dude is a genius.

Unfortunately something deep in my soul tells me that this is not the case.

Like rap?!?!
Honestly, what the fuck?
If you really wanted a serious music career then why not do the Johnny Cash influenced countrified singer/ sogwriter thing. At least it's plausible! Weren't you nominated for an Oscar for rocking that style of shit in Walk the Line? Didn't you win a fucking Grammy?!?!?!?!?!? Me thinks you did.

All I can do is pray that you are a comic genius in disguise and this is your masterwork. You were so pissed that you didn't win the Oscar for Walk the Line ( just every other award) that you went all punk rock on the acting community, right?! You're pulling the wool over everyones eyes and just when you have us all believing the the hype you'll be all " PSYCHE bitches!" Right?
That's what I believe.
I have to.

J

Kanye West is stone cold crazy as fuck.

Which leads me to the question: Is a person's level of craziness proportional to the amount of money and/or celebrity they have? It seems that way to me.

I don't have to mention any OTHER names, you know who these celebs are...you know the ones who have lost the plot somewhere along the line. The ones who left their baby momma/ daddy for their Puerto Rican dancer or lawn guy. The ones who's plastic surgeon fucked up their nose one too many times causing them to shave their head and flash their vahhhhhhhhina for a picture posse hanging outside the gates of their ranch in the hills or at The Ivy. Maybe I'm amalgamating all troubled celebs into one giant SUPERCELEB, but I do it to make a point. My point is this: For all of the madness that we've payed witness to by our famous friends, I truly believe that Kanye West is the fucking craziest of them all.


I saw it during a 2005 benefit for Hurricane Katrina victims.
http://www.scandalist.com/2008-08-04/13-kanye-west-says-george-bush-doesnt-care-about-black-people/

I've seen it whenever he's won an award.
http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/2008/11/23/Kanye_West_I_wanna_be_Elvis/UPI-70821227493036/

And this latest tidbit of info is just the icing on the cake.
http://blog.inmusic.ca/inmusic/2009/01/kanye-wants-to-pose-naked.html

No Kanye, we don't want to see you naked. Even people who love your music don't want to see you naked. Even my friend's horny sister doesn't want to see you naked.
The only way anyone would EVER want to see you naked is if you were pregnant on the cover of Vanity Fair, and even that's a stretch....and disgusting to think about.

Creepy, crazy and really a pointless exercise.

Like what? You're going to show the world that you can make popular music plus you have a six pack to boot? Why would you even waste your time? It's the sign of someone with MASSIVE insecurities and it's Ker-A-Zeeeee.

I would rather be captured by Commies after running from schrapnel in a post-apocalyptic warzone while trying to save endangered Siberian Tiger cubs before I just up and told the world that they needed to see me naked. Then again, I'm still carrying some extra holiday weight.

Keep in mind, crazy to me is not necessarily a negative thing. I'm loopy as shit.
In Kanye's case I think he might just be a poor, misguided soul surrounded by yes men. His heart may be in the right place, after all he's done some positive things for hip hop, his culture, sticking up for gay rights etc., but man oh MAN can you please cool your jets a bit?!

If this is the type of stuff you're willing to do to stay a relevant media topic, then I fear for your future. That whole "I'm a rebel who can do and say anything, but I can also handle my business" thing went out of style when Madonna made her sex book...and she did it better.

I kind of like that Gold Digger track though.

http://hypem.com/popup.php?current_url=L3NlYXJjaC9nb2xkJTIwZGlnZ2VyLzEv&list=eNoNjMENAEAIwhbioSio%2By9292pIQyd5K%2FgmLuDh%2FqVb66DdoiG6TPRK2R8RXrTn%2FqHtqfpg87uQO1C%2FlUY5VUQpOAPmXAXyLoN4pYUX4g%3D%3D

J

People love lists...

so we're going to give some to you.

To kick it all off I'm giving you my list of favorite albums from 2008.

1. The Seldom Seen Kid - Elbow

Basically the song "Grounds for Divorce" is one of the coolest things I've ever heard. What makes it even better is that the band came on the tv show I produce in Vancouver and played it acoustically. Two guitars, one harmonica and five person vocal harmonies. Sadly Elbow are an extremely underrated band. Buy this and then buy their albums "Leaders of the Free World" and " Cast of Thousands." Most of it's pretty chill but if all you ever wanted was an earful of techno dance beats then you'd be fairly one dimensional wouldn't you? Yes, you would.

www.myspace.com/elbowmusic

2. Only By The Night - Kings of Leon

I'm told that the ladies love these heartthrob hicks from the backwaters of Tennessee cuz they look good in a tight plaid shirt and hang out with Drew Barrymore. Did they sign on to be the next poster boys for the Hollywould-you-indie-rock-me-right-out-of-my-skin-tight-jeans scene? I doubt it. There's too much sincerity here. Great highway album.

www.myspace.com/kingsofleon

3. In the Future- Black Mountain

This album feels like I went back in time to 1975, stole back the Sports Almanac from my nemesis, came back to 2008, realized that it was just the sports almanac dust jacket containing a French porno mag, and suddenly all the music had changed (because there had beena temperal disturbance in 1975 thus changing the current 2008 into an alternate 2008) .
Seventies-style prog rock in 2008. Updated for the beat generation. This will rock a wusses ass.

www.myspace.com/blackmountain

4. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes

Likewise the Fleet Foxes sound like they're from a bygone era. Think the song Sea of Love as interpreted by My Morning Jacket and that's kind of the vibe I'm getting here.

www.myspace.com/fleetfoxes

5. Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!! - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Nick Cave is a fucking genius.

www.myspace.com/nickcaveandthebadseeds

6. Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains (LP)

So everyone was all like DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979 is the best Canadian band of all time! They were right. Then DFA went on a world tour and came back DOA. People were sad. Then the bass player became the spokesperson for some power tools and created a band named after them call MSTRKRFT. The drummer/singer took his sweet ass time but finally created this gem. Renegade Silence has been my theme song for months.

www.myspace.com/sebastiengrainger

7. Heads Off - The Hellacopters

These Swedes make better rock 'n roll than you or your friends could ever hope to make.

www.myspace.com/hellacopters

8. Oracular Spectacular- MGMT

Some people think that these magical midget pixies are from another planet and they've come here to show us how the make music in the eighth dimension. Other people like my friend Trevor Risk fucking hate this band.

www.myspace.com/mgmt

9. Modern Guilt - Beck

When Beck played Vancouver he did this three or four song set midway through the concert where he whipped out his iPhone and made songs with it. People rejoiced like they'd just seen some real next level shit. I walked away from that concert asking my self one crucial question: How does Beck keep making better hip hop then most full fledged hip hop artists without even trying?

www.myspace.com/beck

10. Missiles - The Dears

This album is so explosively intense that while it was being made most of the members of the band couldn't handle it and quit. This is The Dears White Album. It's amazing. Singer Murray Lightburn has symphonies in his head. This album made me cry steel tears of joy.

www.myspace.com/thedears

11. London Zoo - The Bug

The Bug crawled into my skull. It hasn't left yet. I think it laid some eggs. I might need to go to the doctor.

www.myspace.com/thebuguk

That's it.

Jay

Moments

We have all had them, a moment that makes us pause and think ! Sometimes it's a song on the radio, a conversation with a friend, for me it was a sunset! A pretty amazing sunset, sometimes we don't even have the time to appreciate them but on this particular day, I had the time and I did. WOW ! It's kinda crazy how caught up in one thing or another we can become. But the question is what the hell can we do to find a balance between, fun, work, friends.. I try to bring them together, for some of you that doesn't work? I'd love to hear what you guys have planned for 2009 and what you plan on doing to make it better than 2008.

Best

Vintage