Just in time for Mother's Day

I don't know about you but it is about this time of year I like to brush up on what passive aggressive looks like. Just in case...

It's like riding a bicycle- you never forget- but instead of a shiny bell there are only screams of frustration. Wow I really rode that analogy train to the end.


There is no way to rock, paper, scissors your way out of an attack.My approach is to sling it back and finish strong with a compliment. But grab your Gatorade - it's usually a long one.

I came across this blog that has given me such joy I might consider taking up passive aggressiveness as a hobby.

It seems to be working out so well for these people!





http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Jay interviews Metric

I must preface one section of the above interview by saying that Emily Haines is also a member of Canadian music collective Broken Social Scene. Now you'll get it.

J.J. Roe-sham-Bo-JACKSON

PS- WE HAVE A LIVE SHOW TONIGHT IN VANCOUVER FROM 6 TO 7:30PM ON CITR 101.9FM

Letterman Gives it to Cheney.......

Those of you that follow the political news will know that since leaving office Dick Cheney has not been spending his time fly fishing in a stream somewhere, why would you when you can launch a media tour of Obama-hate! like DUH! Dick has claimed that Obama has raised the risk of attack on America, called his economic policies devastating and said that Obama's trips abroad were disturbing. Um ya Cheney critizing Obama on his Presidency is like Lauren Conrad from the Hills giving Meryl Streep acting tips. Come on now are we really listening to this ridiculousness?!?!?!

Well Letterman's not, he thought it was time to put Dick in his place and remind him of the last 8 years with a segment called; Dick Cheney: HOW'D HE DO?




The US has the best healthcare in the world??? Dick's been telling whoppers again, like he ever stopped! Dick really, your only embarassing yourself here weren't the last 8 years embarassing enough for you. SO GO FUCKING FISHING its what EX President's and VP's do!!!!!

P.S. Can i just say how much I heart David Letterman, you get him Dave!!!!



Becky

Look At This Fucking Hipster

I remember quite recently Matt created a quiz that tested your level of hipsterness. Then along came a wonderous email from someone at work today entitled "Look at this Fucking Hipster" Yes it is true, check out the blog to laff and point at another society label, oh the fun we have.


Vintage

A message from my other favorite blog- The Tall and Handsome Club

This fella looks pissed.

You would be too if you were constantly living in the shadow of that statuesque drink of water the Brontosaurus.

Imagine you come home from a long day at Jurassic Park. You just mauled another annoying paleontologist and he gave you indigestion plus your boss is all like "MORE CARNAGE, MORE CARNAGE" and you feel like telling that prick off but you bite your tongue and obviously it bleeds, you know, cuz your teeth are razor sharp. Basically it's another bad day. All you want to do is have a beer and hit the sack but you can't because there he is- your neighbour. Look at him standing there, glistening in the sun, eating the leaves off the top of the tree and getting all the chicks. His pad is better than yours, his clothes are better (well they would be if dinosaurs wore clothes), hell even his kids are better.

He's a constant reminder of your inadequacies and all he did was be tall and handsome.

So you go over and make a meal out of his family. Mostly because it's instinctual but also kind of cuz you have small

dinosaur syndrome.

It just goes to show you that the struggle of the tall and handsome has been going on for millions of years.

Am I alone here?

Despite the fact that Canadians can't compete in the Amazing Race, I have been on this show like a fat kid on a smarty for longer then I would like to admit.


I won't try and invest you in the characters since the season finale is next week. You have missed the boat and I will not hand you a paddle.

On last night's "race to determine the final 3" it came down to the wire between 2 sisters and 2 cheerleaders. The sisters finished first at an eating challenge and cabbed it over to Bejjing's Bird’s Nest to finish. The cheerleaders followed quickly behind but the sisters clung to their lead by a hair - and careful editing.

UNTIL. One sister had to pee. "Really bad."

So instead of racing to Phil they stopped at a porta-potty and lost by seconds. That is the same amount of time it would've taken me to do a victory robot while peeing my pants on the pretty Amazing Race carpet. Batman would do it.


It's a million dollars! A million dollars! If it were my sister I would've dragged her urinating corpse to the mat if I had to. Okay. Too far.

I probably would've deflected to the media later stating the program should slot in bathroom breaks -inhumane treatment. Spin spin spin.
So it begs the question:

Would you have gone to the bathroom or gone for a million?

1901 (Customised by DLID)

Chris Cornell-Redemption song?

Those of you who read our blog often might remember when the new Chris Cornell album Scream (produced by Timbaland -WTF?!?!?) came out. I was NOT impressed. I wasn't alone.
There was a fairly brutal backlash on his iTunes page. Soundgarden fans, who weren't dead from choking on their own vomit, managed to pull themselves up off their bathroom floors to let this former grunge god really HAVE IT!

Well now it seems (in what MUST be an effort to redeem himself) Mr. Cornell has tried to appease the spirits of guitar-rock with a complete makeover of his single “Long Gone.”

This is it:


Here's the Timbaland version:


Neither is worthy of being on the same planet as Soundgarden but COME ON.... the below version is awful. The above sounds like the song was meant to sound!! You can't make a 21st century power rock ballad, dress it up like Justin Timberlake and call it INNOVATIVE! It's not.

I just barfed on my keyboard.

J

Dear Ricky Bobby, Your belief system is suspect

I used to subscribe to the whole Ricky Bobby philosophy of "if you're not first, you're last," until I saw this shit!!!



While most other horses are flown to the Kentucky Derby in air conditioned learjets and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, this skinny-bastard-horse-with-something-to-prove named Mine That Bird drove 26 hours to get there in a trailer attached to a pickup truck and cost a mere $9,500.

Ricky Bobby you're sunk.

j

Lush Etiquette

In an ongoing effort to understand the world around me and my place therein I have recently taken it upon myself to learn the finer points of LUSH ETIQUETTE.

What is lush etiquette you ask yourself? Well dear reader let me embellish.

 Have you ever noticed how some of your friends get drunker than others?

Have you also noticed that although many of those friends get equally wasted some of them seem to be able to getaway with more bullshit than others?

It's all about LUSH ETIQUETTE!

No matter how trashed you get some things are more acceptable than others, so pay attention, here's a list.

 According to the rules of Lush Etiquette it is:

1) OK to pee in the corner of your friend's bathroom while visiting from LA. 

2) NOT OK to eat your friend's Trivial Pursuit card after you get a question wrong when you're not visiting from LA...you're simply too "local" to pull it off.

3)OK to take a drunken road trip to New York (after taking it to the limit in your home town) on a whim because you saw just how much fun The Strokes made it look

 in that pictorial in Rolling Stone from like six years ago, but you still have the magazine.

4) Not OK to drive the car on the way to New York. 

4 a) also not ok to stop and take pictures of bears while drunk.

5) OK to laugh at your friend that's getting called out at the bar by a guy in a Panama Hat from Toronto because you " know him from that city."

6) NOT OK to to laugh at Torontonians. Ever. Even while sober, apparently.

6 a) Nor is it acceptable for Torontonians to laugh at themselves.

7) OK to shine.

8) NOT OK to shine too bright.

There are many more lessons but these are just a few I've learned on the road to a masters degree in LUSH ETIQUETTE.

Where in the world is Jay and Blondtron?

Remember this show from when we were kids? Thats kinda what happened on yesterdays show, except it was the search for Jay and Blondtron. Don't worry, we found them and they will be back, until then enjoy this fridays show with some sexy beats.

Vintage

That's Weird!!!

Holy Shit balls Batman! Looky, Looky what I found!!!!

Listen up peeps, I just found an AWESOME website that'll blow your granny panties off!

www.thatsweird.net

Looks like someone who was sick of being a loser; thought it would be funny to laugh at weird shit that no one ever hears about! Check out some of their weird stories. Such classic titles include:

"Cat with 4 Ears" (WARNING: THIS IS NOT YODA)

"Man with No face" (And I'm not talking about that shitty Mel Gibson movie)

"Funny Toilets" (Someone seriously has way too much time on there hands!)

So next time you wake up hungover next to some random nasty chick; burping up that 3 am McDonald's... Run home close all the blinds, have a caesar, and laugh your ass off at other people's misfortunes and stupidness! Cause we all know there's plenty out there!

EUR-O-VISION

Two years ago to this day I was sitting on my couch in London flicking my 3 illegal channels when all of the sudden a life altering TV moment occurred- the Eurovision Finals. I thought it was the kind of thing that only existed in scary Eastern European fairy tales but there it was... and HERE IT IS! Behold.



What the F is this? Where do I begin. Eurovision is a song competition that has been rockin the mic in Europe for 50 years. It uses televotes submitted from about 100 million viewers continent-wide to create You Tube sensations... I mean world POP STARS. Erm.

Any citizen in their respective country can submit a song and the one who represents that country is chosen usually via radio contest. Then Eurovision sucks them up for a head to head of epic proportions that I still don't understand the rules to.

Their best success story? ABBA. Yes people this is real. This is not a drill.

Why am I telling you? Because the 2009 contest starts next week!!!

Here is something to blow your mind. If I haven't already.

Hold the Line Remix

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder, separate events.....SAY WHAT!!!!!!!

That lovely snippet is from this new website i found;

textsfromlastnite.com

Its brilliant, fantastic and some of the funniest fucking shit i've read in a while. Its exactly what you think it is with a name like that, texts you sent last night when you injested one to many jagger bombs! Go forth to the site and laugh your ass off and thank your lucky stars none of your drunk ass texts are on there....or are they???????

Here's a few highlights:

310: dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
323: no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

775: Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
775: What!?!?! How are you txting?!
775: Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend

417: He has such a weird drunk-voice.
417: dude, he's deaf

313: downstairs, can you go check my room pls, there's a strangeshape under my duvet. I think it's breathing
313: who is it???
313: can't remember, don't want to look. going out, pls get rid of it.


So Awesome!!

Becky

Heaven only knows

k-os is back with a vengeance! First date of the Yes! Karma Tour was tonight at the Commodore, and it was a show worth seeing. Be sure to check him out when he hits your town soon. Donations go to the David Suzuki foundation, and $10 or more gets you a disc of sick remixes. So get drunk and save a whale, people!

Photos by Graham Cook.

Chris Cornell going strong

So I went to check out the Chris Cornell show at the Commodore tonight. I was as big a Soundgarden fan as every skinny 15-year-old skater kid in Airwalks was in the mid 90s, but I admit I hadn't been following his career as closely lately.

I had this dream a few years ago where he became the lead singer for Rage Against the Machine, except that they weren't called that anymore and they didn't do songs about American military and financial imperialism or use the waa-waa pedal much. So while that was probably just my weird imagination, this concert was for real, and ol' 4-octave Chris was back to stomp around the stage and wail at the rafters. Dude's still got it, and he even busted out "Spoonman" and "Black Hole Sun".

Photos by Graham Cook.

TIME FOR THE GOSSIP

The Gossip are finally back with the new single "Heavy Cross". Since their last release I have only seen Beth Ditto half naked half as many times as I can handle. I am ready for more. The band's goal is usually a shockformance so whether or not you want it. Its coming...and it's rocking a butt ton of spandex!

Ditto has done a bang up job of making herself a shameless tabloid fixture over the past few years, fueling my bag of quotes for this very moment!

"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream."

I have no idea what that means but I agree since NME voted her the "Coolest Person in Rock" agreeing can only elevate my personal coolness. Isn't that how it works? Isn't that the equation on the road to cool? Like long division minus logical sense. YES!


Heavy Cross

Metric - Gimme Sympathy Acoustic

Emily Haines and Jimmy Shaw of Metric performed Gimme Sympathy acoustically for me after a recent interview! I got a freaking private one song concert. RAD.

Stay tuned for hot interview action!! You can also catch both the performance and interview this Friday on Urban Rush in Vancouver.

Jay-bone

Hitler was a painter?!?

This interesting little watercolor scene that looks like something you did in grade 11 art class was painted by none other then Adolf Hitler.... for real. Apparently this is one of a series of pieces that were painted by him that sold for over 100K Euros in an auction in London. The art gallery was only expecting to fetch 1000 to 1500 euros for each of these paintings so you can imagine their amazement to realize there is actually a market in Hitler art. Who knew!

Not bad for a guy that was rejected not once but twice from the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna in the early 1900's, now lets just think on that for a moment if they had accepted young Adolf as a budding new artist instead of kicking him to the curb twice it is quite possible that we would of never heard of the Nazi Party nor ever had a Second world war..... Thanks for that Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna like the painting isn't that bad there's room to grow damn it!!

I love how he's put an X over the dude on the bridge then labeled it with an A.H. indicating a self portrait in case you didn't realize LOL, what's with the red water though Adolf????

This new development in Hitler's bio makes this Joy of Painting with Hitler all the more funnier!!

Becky

Magical Movies

I met an awesome guy, Mike, last week who is part of a sketch comedy group in our lovely city of Vancouver. This stuff is effing hilarious. These little movies are my new go-to-post-drinking-pizza-face-stuffing-laugh-out-loud youtube videos.

Check this one, the magic movie, probably my favourite.



Here's some more magic for your ears!!

Risky Business has molested a Chrome kids track and made it something special.....

Risky Business Ft. Chrome Kids-Bang Bang

And the sun has been out so why not blast some happy fun music from the Magic Wands...

Magic Wands-Black Magic

Snoop Dogg Waxed!

Snoop Dogg has just become the first living rapper to be inducted into Madame Toussaud's in Las Vegas. Their latest waxy creation, despite a bit of a Tyra 5 head, looks exactly like the rapper himself. Sometimes they look a little freaky but this time they hit the chronic nail on the head. The event took place on, of course, the night of 4/20 and both Snoops wore matching outfits from his Rich and Infamous line.

Snoop was so taken with his wax twin that he couldn't help but whisper sweet nothings into it's cornrows of secrets. Or maybe he was trying to smoke him?



















He also used the unveiling to further his fascination with the world of Country music- pimping his upcoming Johnny Cash remix effort. He has caught a whiff of what's cooking in the country kitchen and likes it! He has recently gone so far as attending the CMT awards and voicing excitement at the idea of a gangster Pop Rap with Miley Cyrus.

My favorite quote?

"Country musicians are just like us. They smoke weed, get drunk, talk s--t, go to jail. But they just wear little hats."

Johnny Cash Remixed is due out of June 15th and comes with a bonus making-of documentary DVD. In the meantime bask in the glory of this rediscovered remix greatness. Alliteration is neat-o...

Drop it Like it's Hot (dAta Remix)