Ginger of the Week

Welcome to the very special second installment of 'Ginger of the Week'

This week we have another lovely brit with flaming locks not only on his head, but all over his face. His red beard is full of mystery, a mystery I don't care to solve. I just like listening to his music and occasionally sharing a shark costume.

`
Boy 8-bit Vs. Morgan Page-The Longest Score (Rob Pix Edit)

Boy 8-bit -Baltic Pine

Boy 8-bit -The Suspense is Killing Me(Drop the Lime Remix)

Boy 8-bit -Gold Dust

Lady Sovereign keeps it random

Lady Sovereign was at Richard's on Friday night and it was messy. Her opening band was Chester French, this duo from Harvard with a three-piece band that is kind of goofy but fun to watch. The lead singer had me hypnotized because he kind of looks like me but totally sells the skinny redhead rock star package the world so desperately calls for.

Next came the S O Veeee and this is when the evening went a little off the rails. Her first few songs were great and she kept things interactive, flashing her bra and spraying the crowd with Corona a couple times. Then her monitors stopped working and she flipped out. She stopped the show and started yelling at the sound people, calling one guy a "fat cunt" and threatening to punch him in the face. I wish she had done it because seeing a five foot tall chick wearing a hat with ear flaps hitting a middle aged dude with a beer gut would have made my month.

Anyway, they eventually got the equipment working and she calmed down a little. She can put on a show but could use some anger management classes I think. Lol celebrities.

Photos by Graham Cook.

A Taste of Montreal in Phoenix Blues Bar

I wasn't expecting rain in the desert yesterday but it was much more likely than stumbling across a rythm and blues club presenting The Dears - one night only - for TEN DOLLARS. Seeming too good to be true, I double and triple checked the Montreal band's website to see their tour schedule and sure enough, here they are - in Phoenix - playing the day after I arrive for holidays.

We got to the bar at 7:30 and the doors were not yet open. In fact, the back door was open, they were doing sound check and our car and The Dears tour bus were the only vehicles in the parking lot. So we detoured around, found a couple beers and returned at 9pm to a packed house. However, I shouldn't say house, because the bar is more likely the size of your basement. And packed is equivalent to about 75 people. This was bound to be incredible.

At 10 oclock, the lights went down and that familiar voice started singing but he was no where to be found - until I looked over my shoulder. Frontman, musical genius, Murray Lightburn was walking around the the bar holding a candle, singing to the bar patrons. And before I knew it, he is standing toe to toe with me, singing literally inches from my face. Pardon the pun-like comment but I was like a DEAR caught in the headlights. (I can't believe that HE could keep a straight face when looking at my giddy school boy grin.) This lasted for half a minute with the eyes of the bar on the area around my barstool. When Lightburn walked away singing with his candle, the guy behind me that I had befriended earlier in the night yelled, THAT JUST HAPPENED! WOW!

The band, all seven members of them, then ripped through an hour and a half set on a 10' x 10' stage that included just about every song, from every album. At the beginning of the night, there were a handful of Canadians and a few Americans familiar with their music. At the end of the night, everyone was a super fan.

I've been to a lot of shows over the years, and people say this all the time, but that just might have been the best I have ever seen. Given the venue, and the size of the crowd and the fury in which they unleashed their multi-layered songs. Like the words Murray LIghtburn exhaled into the microphone upon leaving the stage at the end of the set, "Fucking Awesome."

Beards are the new black.

Okay, well maybe not. I still prefer those who put the "must" in mustaches but beard aficionados are gaining some serious ground.

Mark tomorrow on your calendars as it is the annual World Beard Championships! http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

Team Canada's best hope?

Protest the Hero guitarist Tim Miller (right... I wish left).

Tim gained enormous confidence in his food catcher after placing in Metal Hammer's "21 Best Beards" list recently. Click here to see the categories of the competition http://www.beardteamusa.org/analysis.html

If I could grow a beard I would shoot for the moon in the "Imperial" category personally.


However,I would have to dethrone current champ Kaiser Wilhelm I of Germany.













I really appreciate the anti-gravity look he is sporting.But don't look directly at it or you will get lost in his beard of secrets!

Doves- Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver

I love Doves. I love them with as much man-love as a straight guy can feel for a trio of Brits who have a serious penchant for atmospheric, reverb heavy, cavernous, echoing rock. 

They write epic songs that sound like they're being played at the bottom of the sea.

It's as if Neptune decided to throw a party and asked the Doves to play, and all the mermaids got wasted and threw their seashell bras at the stage! Then the giant squids got rowdy and trashed Bikini Bottom and Spongebob got all pissed off and called the cops but there was nothing they could do cuz shit was just WAY out of control. Then, at like four in the morning, Neptune smashed his trident into the Mariana Trench and caused a tsunami and it totally destroyed Atlantis and shit! Then everyone went home, cuz like FUCK, who wants to have to help clean up an epic RAGER like that?!?!?

Oh you don't believe it happened, eh? Well then why did they write this song smart guy?

It's totally about that party!

Jay

Two More Days!

That means only two more days until another night of greatness on the Hotmess radio show!

I bet you woke up this morning thinking "I wonder what the top song in Moldova is today?". I know I did. I was going to play it for you but I am sorry-it is a real stinker.

So instead you get this!
Trust me. You're welcome.

Lisztomania (Yuksek Remix)

Love and Electrik

So I was pretty stoked to have Love and Electrik in the studio for last Friday's show. They embody everything I love about Miami Bass and ol' Dance-Electro!

Here's a little prince cover they did that is pretty much blasting in my ipod on the regular.

Love and Electrik-Nasty Girls


They're debut single Sex Video is about to drop any second.... I am basically the most stoked person ever.

They are opening for Amanda Blank next week. We'll be giving away tickets to the big night on this week's show. So don't sleep on it!

Here's Amanda Blank's newest bit of wet n heavy hotness.....

Amanda Blank-Might Like you Better

Demetri Martin Heart On

Every Friday is a seemingly never ending, nail biting wait for afternoon to come so I can ride off into the sunset of freedom. For two days. Then rinse and repeat. Every once and a while I bide that time with the comedic stylings of Demetri Martin.

Martin takes illogical humor to its logical conclusion with his use of props, guitar, and unparalleled whimsy.

It's brilliance slowly sneaks up on you- not because it is complex, but because it's so simple... and usually absurd (but you have thought it yourself before).



There is a ton of material you'll find if you Google him . But be fair warned ladies and gentleman-you will end up with a heart on.

Kasabian On Fuego

If you are looking for a song for the long weekend, a song that goes well with Beergaritas, look no further than Kasabian's hot little ditty, Fire.

These English lads Brit-Pop-Electronica-Indie-Rock Swagger has been around for a few years, but it is their forth coming album that looks to take the UK by storm. Their new video makes you wish watching Much Music was still part of your daily schedule. In a Beastie Boys Sabatoge-like fashion these dudes hold up a bank at guitar point, yes guitar point, and steal bags full of bank note sheet music. Genius. And catchy as all f*ck.

Hollywood running out of ideas? Attack of the killer remakes!!

Hollywood must be out of original film ideas, hit the bottom of the so called barrel for original, thought provoking , reach out and pull you out of your seat kinda movies. How does something like this happen? Isn't imagination limitless?


Up and coming remakes read at your discretion:

The Karate Kid which will now be called the Kung Fu Kid (insert laughter here) and oh wait what's this Will Smith will produce it and his son Jaden Smith will play the Karate Kid ooops I mean Kung Fu Kid. That basically means Will Smith bought the rights so he could have his son star in a movie. Who will be the Mr Miyagi type role you ask, well Jackie Chan of course who else??? This has Huge Hit written all over it!!! hmmmm


Fright Night has been announced by Dreamworks this one might not be to bad like how hard is it to make a movie about a teenager who discovers his neighbours are vampires. The updated version promises to keep the comedy-horror tone to the movie while modernizing the effects, as long as no one from Highschool Musical is cast this one stands a chance of pulling it off.


Jekyll and Hyde is being remade twice, yup and this one is just genius in its casting for both films. First up we have and this is not a joke Forrest Whitaker and 50 Cent starring as the lead Jekyll and Hyde roles, its suppose ot be a modern version of the classic I guess a hip hop version, can you say disaster. The second one will star Keanu Reeves.........enough said!


Barbarella was suppose to be remade with Rose McGowan starring in it but has since been canceled thank the film Gods for that, that film should not be touched let alone with her starring. The 1968 version of the French Comic is a tongue in cheek classic. And did you know that the band Duran Duran got their name from one of the characters of the same name in the film. Yes they did!! Don't feel bad for little Rose though she will be starring in the remake of Red Sonja becasue you know that's a much better idea.


This last remake just breaks my heart, it should NEVER be done, its like a sacrilege to even think of remaking it, it was so great the first time around. So sad to say they are remaking the Neverending Story. What in the fuck are you thinking Hollywood!!!! ya sure the effects are out dated but so fucking what that movie was awesome I cried my eyes out when Artax died in the swamp!! and who doesn't want Falkor as their own personal Luckdragon, you so know their going to give this entire movie a special effects make over and its going to look nothing like the orignal, no cheesy theme song that you can't help but sing along to, I'm so upset over this.



Falkor would like to remind you of previous Hollywood remake disasters; Psycho, King Kong, Swept Away, Planet of the Apes, Sabrina, Godzilla, Houses of Wax, The Producers, The Ladykillers, The Alamo, The Amityville Horror etc etc etc etc

Lighting doesn't strike twice people get it through your heads!


Becky

Today I Wore a White Coat

Thats right, I did, I sported a crisp whiter than white coat, along with some sleek steve madden white loafers. And say what you will, it looked sharp like a porcupine spike, dipped in white paint and shining in the sun. Really there is nothing better than white, its clean, simple and see through when wet. I really enjoy white, it feels so modern and fresh... until someone bumps you whilst walking down the street holding your coffee. Besides that silly little issue it's time to go white people, white shoes, white hats, white shades, white underwear, white bathers, white sneakers, but not white skin.. get your tan on cuz two whites don't make a right. Thats it, thats all, now go put on some fresh white pants, some clean white calvins and a slick hat and your day will be allllll right.

Vintage !

Ginger of the Week

I've really been having a hard time thinking of stuff to write about lately, mainly because I have not been feeling very pop cultured since I locked myself in the studio in my pijamas in an attempt to finish the first EP with my band, Risky Business.

That being said I've really been inspired by La Roux's music lately. They are an electro-pop synth/vocalist duo from the UK. Their sound is largely influenced other ginger greats The Eurythmics and Depeche Mode.

What is it about red hair that incurs such greatness in people? Something in their fiery little mutant genes? They are the spidermen and batmen amongst us drab blondes and brunettes. Quietly making all of our lives better.

La Roux literally means 'The Red Haired One' which I thought was fitting for my inaugural 'Ginger of the Week' post.  Her voice is incredibly unique and the melodies written over the amazing beats are unexpected. As a song writer it's often easy to write the easy way with melodies that seem obvious. What I really appreciate about La Roux's sound is that it is slightly unpredictable and keeps your attention from start to finish.

There has been a wildfire of remixes circulating the net so I thought I'd pick some of my favourites to share with you fine ginger loving people.

La Roux-Bullet Proof (Zinc Remix)

La Roux-Bullet Proof (Foamo Remix)

La Roux-In for the Kill (Skream's Let's get Ravey Remix)

La Roux-Quicksand (Mad Decent Remix)

La Roux-Quicksand (Joe and Will Ask Remix)

Got You Dancing

Yes, its true Hotmess gots' you Dancing and so does Lady SOV. If you want a chance to check out Lady Sovereign Live in Vancouver at Richards on Richards on May 22nd. Then Email us at theshow@hotmess.org with your full name and phone number or you can call us live in the studio 604.822.2487 on friday May 15th and give us your info. The Winners Name will be drawn at the end of fridays show and will be called out later that evening. Until then, here is a sexy little remix to keep you dancing at home.

Vintage

Dragonette is Fixin to Thrill

If you’re looking for some fresh electro noise to make love to, Dragonette is your new mistress.

Their title track and first single "Fixin to Thrill" will be officially released the last week of May, but it's already on group's MySpace page...and here!

This is harder, bitchier, and much crunchier noise than anything off of their previous success Galore. And you know what? I like that sort of thing.

They are even challenging you to remix your pants off with the a capella here: http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/hn5a1u

What did they have to say for themselves?

"We've done some collaborating with some cool cats,
we've made some videos, commissioned some remixes from people we love,and all of this will be soon available for public consumption."

"So... in general the message is: We Are Coming to Get You."


Fixin To Thrill

Michael Jackson- Chapter 957 "What did his soul do in a past life to deserve all of this ?!?!!?""

So apparently bets are being placed on whether or not Michael Jackson is capable of pulling of the 50 concert "This Is It" extravaganza at London's O2 Arena beginning in July....or even if he'll survive.

The dude's ben plagued with health problems and face problems and legal problems and sex problems and skin problems and parenting problems and personal problems and public problems and people problems and psycological problems and domestic problems and money problems and problems with how YOU have a problem with all of his problems.

That's a lot of fucked up stuff to go through. To be honest one has to commend his resilience. I'm pretty sure after everything he's gone through in this shit-storm he calls a life he can pull off a few more concerts. For realz.

J

PS- MJ has hand selected 10 dancers to perform with him in London. I REALLY hope the chicks in this video are two of them. Their moves are sweeter than a lollipop lane lickfest...NOT! (bringing this saying back as I just saw Wayne's World the other night and forgot how rad it is.)

Go Bananas

The Re-RAD-ification of Grunge

This is an email I got from saucy auteur Steve "Panties" LePan regarding a band you may not have heard of but if you're down with guitar rock and lead singers who look like a bearded Jonas Hill you will probably like this!!!!


From Steve:

"GET DRUNK ON THIS
Every once in a while you stumble across someone or something that makes you say, I don’t know you, but I think I love you… Enter Atlanta’s MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA. I was introduced to them driving home late one night on a ‘freshly squeezed' segment on the radio. You might have met them on Late Night with David Lettermen on April 29th. Or I may just be doing you that favor RIGHT NOW.In a time when everyone gets they music one song at a time, I implore you to get the full album version of Everything to Nothing. Why? Cuz like all great albums it just tastes better in order. The first song hits you like a Keifer Sutherland head butt in a quiet pub. The second like a Jager Bomb at a Hells Angels gathering. By the third, you are drunk and singing along. You’ll hear distorted slide guitars, David Grohl – like screams and raw passion bleeding through the speakers.This may have something to do with the album being recorded live. You really feel you are at a live show But you’re not. You are in your living room at 12:30 in the afternoon and you can't stop until the ipod spontaneously combusts.Lyrically, the first several songs set a story of teenage angst; musically, it lights your house on fire and doesn’t slow things down until the second act and final songs that are just one notch lighter than the first. Am I building it up to much? You tell me. Download it. Today. But be ready to take the afternoon off work. As the lyrics in Track 2 go: SHAKE IT OUT. GOD I NEED ANOTHER AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER [AND ANOTHER]

-PANTIES "



You will likely be seeing more posts from Monsieur Steve Pantaloons LePan in the future!!!

EMINEM- still got it?

Lots of hype around the new Eminem album, RELAPSE.
Lots of haters too.
And in true Slim Shady fashion, there are some well timed beefs with other rappers to keep the momentum up for the album's May 19th release date. Apparently Nick Cannon is pissed cuz Eminem wants a piece of Mariah Carey - never mind that she looks as worn out as the stuffed Winnie the Pooh that my dog has humped ragged since 1983.
Rick Ross also has slight beef (it's more like shaved lunch meat than actual roast beef) saying that he's not impressed with the new tracks.

Tracks like this one:




So it begs the question- Is Eminem washed up? Is it even possible for artists to have the same kind of stay power that they once did, what with our 21st century attention span where the internet makes a new band famous every five minutes?!?!!?!?
Does this record matter?
And finally who would win in a fight, blonde Eminem of yesteryear or dark haired Eminem of 2009?

Star Trek- I LOVE YOU!!!

Star gate log 32.5- "Space... the Final Frontier, these are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

These famous words are music to my ears! Being the eldest spawn to the ultimate Trekkie, I felt it was my duty to see the latest installment of this epic saga, originally created by Gene Roddenbery! I went and watched the newest STAR TREK movie, by J.J.Abrams tonight, which made love to my brain and then fed me happiness and laughter in its purest form! The new cast is fresh, hot, and ready to kick some box office ass! Look for your favorites: Kirk, Spock, Sulu, Scotty, and bones... oh, yeah and the original Spock 'Leonard Nimoy' brings sexy back!

STAR TREK Cast

If you haven't gone to see this action packed hilarious born again classic, then get your punk ass to the movies and "Live Long and Prosper" biatch!

Star Trek Trailer

Music and Dance on Hotmess

Thats right, we talked to Metric and Nico from SYTYCD played a track by his band the Pin Up Saints, and Metric gives us an amazing exclusive acoustic perfomace. Happy Mothers Day to all Your Moms out there.

Vintage

Just in time for Mother's Day

I don't know about you but it is about this time of year I like to brush up on what passive aggressive looks like. Just in case...

It's like riding a bicycle- you never forget- but instead of a shiny bell there are only screams of frustration. Wow I really rode that analogy train to the end.


There is no way to rock, paper, scissors your way out of an attack.My approach is to sling it back and finish strong with a compliment. But grab your Gatorade - it's usually a long one.

I came across this blog that has given me such joy I might consider taking up passive aggressiveness as a hobby.

It seems to be working out so well for these people!





http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Jay interviews Metric

I must preface one section of the above interview by saying that Emily Haines is also a member of Canadian music collective Broken Social Scene. Now you'll get it.

J.J. Roe-sham-Bo-JACKSON

PS- WE HAVE A LIVE SHOW TONIGHT IN VANCOUVER FROM 6 TO 7:30PM ON CITR 101.9FM

Letterman Gives it to Cheney.......

Those of you that follow the political news will know that since leaving office Dick Cheney has not been spending his time fly fishing in a stream somewhere, why would you when you can launch a media tour of Obama-hate! like DUH! Dick has claimed that Obama has raised the risk of attack on America, called his economic policies devastating and said that Obama's trips abroad were disturbing. Um ya Cheney critizing Obama on his Presidency is like Lauren Conrad from the Hills giving Meryl Streep acting tips. Come on now are we really listening to this ridiculousness?!?!?!

Well Letterman's not, he thought it was time to put Dick in his place and remind him of the last 8 years with a segment called; Dick Cheney: HOW'D HE DO?




The US has the best healthcare in the world??? Dick's been telling whoppers again, like he ever stopped! Dick really, your only embarassing yourself here weren't the last 8 years embarassing enough for you. SO GO FUCKING FISHING its what EX President's and VP's do!!!!!

P.S. Can i just say how much I heart David Letterman, you get him Dave!!!!



Becky

Look At This Fucking Hipster

I remember quite recently Matt created a quiz that tested your level of hipsterness. Then along came a wonderous email from someone at work today entitled "Look at this Fucking Hipster" Yes it is true, check out the blog to laff and point at another society label, oh the fun we have.


Vintage

A message from my other favorite blog- The Tall and Handsome Club

This fella looks pissed.

You would be too if you were constantly living in the shadow of that statuesque drink of water the Brontosaurus.

Imagine you come home from a long day at Jurassic Park. You just mauled another annoying paleontologist and he gave you indigestion plus your boss is all like "MORE CARNAGE, MORE CARNAGE" and you feel like telling that prick off but you bite your tongue and obviously it bleeds, you know, cuz your teeth are razor sharp. Basically it's another bad day. All you want to do is have a beer and hit the sack but you can't because there he is- your neighbour. Look at him standing there, glistening in the sun, eating the leaves off the top of the tree and getting all the chicks. His pad is better than yours, his clothes are better (well they would be if dinosaurs wore clothes), hell even his kids are better.

He's a constant reminder of your inadequacies and all he did was be tall and handsome.

So you go over and make a meal out of his family. Mostly because it's instinctual but also kind of cuz you have small

dinosaur syndrome.

It just goes to show you that the struggle of the tall and handsome has been going on for millions of years.

Am I alone here?

Despite the fact that Canadians can't compete in the Amazing Race, I have been on this show like a fat kid on a smarty for longer then I would like to admit.


I won't try and invest you in the characters since the season finale is next week. You have missed the boat and I will not hand you a paddle.

On last night's "race to determine the final 3" it came down to the wire between 2 sisters and 2 cheerleaders. The sisters finished first at an eating challenge and cabbed it over to Bejjing's Bird’s Nest to finish. The cheerleaders followed quickly behind but the sisters clung to their lead by a hair - and careful editing.

UNTIL. One sister had to pee. "Really bad."

So instead of racing to Phil they stopped at a porta-potty and lost by seconds. That is the same amount of time it would've taken me to do a victory robot while peeing my pants on the pretty Amazing Race carpet. Batman would do it.


It's a million dollars! A million dollars! If it were my sister I would've dragged her urinating corpse to the mat if I had to. Okay. Too far.

I probably would've deflected to the media later stating the program should slot in bathroom breaks -inhumane treatment. Spin spin spin.
So it begs the question:

Would you have gone to the bathroom or gone for a million?

1901 (Customised by DLID)

Chris Cornell-Redemption song?

Those of you who read our blog often might remember when the new Chris Cornell album Scream (produced by Timbaland -WTF?!?!?) came out. I was NOT impressed. I wasn't alone.
There was a fairly brutal backlash on his iTunes page. Soundgarden fans, who weren't dead from choking on their own vomit, managed to pull themselves up off their bathroom floors to let this former grunge god really HAVE IT!

Well now it seems (in what MUST be an effort to redeem himself) Mr. Cornell has tried to appease the spirits of guitar-rock with a complete makeover of his single “Long Gone.”

This is it:


Here's the Timbaland version:


Neither is worthy of being on the same planet as Soundgarden but COME ON.... the below version is awful. The above sounds like the song was meant to sound!! You can't make a 21st century power rock ballad, dress it up like Justin Timberlake and call it INNOVATIVE! It's not.

I just barfed on my keyboard.

J

Dear Ricky Bobby, Your belief system is suspect

I used to subscribe to the whole Ricky Bobby philosophy of "if you're not first, you're last," until I saw this shit!!!



While most other horses are flown to the Kentucky Derby in air conditioned learjets and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, this skinny-bastard-horse-with-something-to-prove named Mine That Bird drove 26 hours to get there in a trailer attached to a pickup truck and cost a mere $9,500.

Ricky Bobby you're sunk.

j

Lush Etiquette

In an ongoing effort to understand the world around me and my place therein I have recently taken it upon myself to learn the finer points of LUSH ETIQUETTE.

What is lush etiquette you ask yourself? Well dear reader let me embellish.

 Have you ever noticed how some of your friends get drunker than others?

Have you also noticed that although many of those friends get equally wasted some of them seem to be able to getaway with more bullshit than others?

It's all about LUSH ETIQUETTE!

No matter how trashed you get some things are more acceptable than others, so pay attention, here's a list.

 According to the rules of Lush Etiquette it is:

1) OK to pee in the corner of your friend's bathroom while visiting from LA. 

2) NOT OK to eat your friend's Trivial Pursuit card after you get a question wrong when you're not visiting from LA...you're simply too "local" to pull it off.

3)OK to take a drunken road trip to New York (after taking it to the limit in your home town) on a whim because you saw just how much fun The Strokes made it look

 in that pictorial in Rolling Stone from like six years ago, but you still have the magazine.

4) Not OK to drive the car on the way to New York. 

4 a) also not ok to stop and take pictures of bears while drunk.

5) OK to laugh at your friend that's getting called out at the bar by a guy in a Panama Hat from Toronto because you " know him from that city."

6) NOT OK to to laugh at Torontonians. Ever. Even while sober, apparently.

6 a) Nor is it acceptable for Torontonians to laugh at themselves.

7) OK to shine.

8) NOT OK to shine too bright.

There are many more lessons but these are just a few I've learned on the road to a masters degree in LUSH ETIQUETTE.

Where in the world is Jay and Blondtron?

Remember this show from when we were kids? Thats kinda what happened on yesterdays show, except it was the search for Jay and Blondtron. Don't worry, we found them and they will be back, until then enjoy this fridays show with some sexy beats.

Vintage

That's Weird!!!

Holy Shit balls Batman! Looky, Looky what I found!!!!

Listen up peeps, I just found an AWESOME website that'll blow your granny panties off!

www.thatsweird.net

Looks like someone who was sick of being a loser; thought it would be funny to laugh at weird shit that no one ever hears about! Check out some of their weird stories. Such classic titles include:

"Cat with 4 Ears" (WARNING: THIS IS NOT YODA)

"Man with No face" (And I'm not talking about that shitty Mel Gibson movie)

"Funny Toilets" (Someone seriously has way too much time on there hands!)

So next time you wake up hungover next to some random nasty chick; burping up that 3 am McDonald's... Run home close all the blinds, have a caesar, and laugh your ass off at other people's misfortunes and stupidness! Cause we all know there's plenty out there!

EUR-O-VISION

Two years ago to this day I was sitting on my couch in London flicking my 3 illegal channels when all of the sudden a life altering TV moment occurred- the Eurovision Finals. I thought it was the kind of thing that only existed in scary Eastern European fairy tales but there it was... and HERE IT IS! Behold.



What the F is this? Where do I begin. Eurovision is a song competition that has been rockin the mic in Europe for 50 years. It uses televotes submitted from about 100 million viewers continent-wide to create You Tube sensations... I mean world POP STARS. Erm.

Any citizen in their respective country can submit a song and the one who represents that country is chosen usually via radio contest. Then Eurovision sucks them up for a head to head of epic proportions that I still don't understand the rules to.

Their best success story? ABBA. Yes people this is real. This is not a drill.

Why am I telling you? Because the 2009 contest starts next week!!!

Here is something to blow your mind. If I haven't already.

Hold the Line Remix

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder, separate events.....SAY WHAT!!!!!!!

That lovely snippet is from this new website i found;

textsfromlastnite.com

Its brilliant, fantastic and some of the funniest fucking shit i've read in a while. Its exactly what you think it is with a name like that, texts you sent last night when you injested one to many jagger bombs! Go forth to the site and laugh your ass off and thank your lucky stars none of your drunk ass texts are on there....or are they???????

Here's a few highlights:

310: dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
323: no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

775: Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
775: What!?!?! How are you txting?!
775: Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend

417: He has such a weird drunk-voice.
417: dude, he's deaf

313: downstairs, can you go check my room pls, there's a strangeshape under my duvet. I think it's breathing
313: who is it???
313: can't remember, don't want to look. going out, pls get rid of it.


So Awesome!!

Becky

Heaven only knows

k-os is back with a vengeance! First date of the Yes! Karma Tour was tonight at the Commodore, and it was a show worth seeing. Be sure to check him out when he hits your town soon. Donations go to the David Suzuki foundation, and $10 or more gets you a disc of sick remixes. So get drunk and save a whale, people!

Photos by Graham Cook.

Chris Cornell going strong

So I went to check out the Chris Cornell show at the Commodore tonight. I was as big a Soundgarden fan as every skinny 15-year-old skater kid in Airwalks was in the mid 90s, but I admit I hadn't been following his career as closely lately.

I had this dream a few years ago where he became the lead singer for Rage Against the Machine, except that they weren't called that anymore and they didn't do songs about American military and financial imperialism or use the waa-waa pedal much. So while that was probably just my weird imagination, this concert was for real, and ol' 4-octave Chris was back to stomp around the stage and wail at the rafters. Dude's still got it, and he even busted out "Spoonman" and "Black Hole Sun".

Photos by Graham Cook.

TIME FOR THE GOSSIP

The Gossip are finally back with the new single "Heavy Cross". Since their last release I have only seen Beth Ditto half naked half as many times as I can handle. I am ready for more. The band's goal is usually a shockformance so whether or not you want it. Its coming...and it's rocking a butt ton of spandex!

Ditto has done a bang up job of making herself a shameless tabloid fixture over the past few years, fueling my bag of quotes for this very moment!

"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream."

I have no idea what that means but I agree since NME voted her the "Coolest Person in Rock" agreeing can only elevate my personal coolness. Isn't that how it works? Isn't that the equation on the road to cool? Like long division minus logical sense. YES!


Heavy Cross

Metric - Gimme Sympathy Acoustic

Emily Haines and Jimmy Shaw of Metric performed Gimme Sympathy acoustically for me after a recent interview! I got a freaking private one song concert. RAD.

Stay tuned for hot interview action!! You can also catch both the performance and interview this Friday on Urban Rush in Vancouver.

Jay-bone

Hitler was a painter?!?

This interesting little watercolor scene that looks like something you did in grade 11 art class was painted by none other then Adolf Hitler.... for real. Apparently this is one of a series of pieces that were painted by him that sold for over 100K Euros in an auction in London. The art gallery was only expecting to fetch 1000 to 1500 euros for each of these paintings so you can imagine their amazement to realize there is actually a market in Hitler art. Who knew!

Not bad for a guy that was rejected not once but twice from the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna in the early 1900's, now lets just think on that for a moment if they had accepted young Adolf as a budding new artist instead of kicking him to the curb twice it is quite possible that we would of never heard of the Nazi Party nor ever had a Second world war..... Thanks for that Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna like the painting isn't that bad there's room to grow damn it!!

I love how he's put an X over the dude on the bridge then labeled it with an A.H. indicating a self portrait in case you didn't realize LOL, what's with the red water though Adolf????

This new development in Hitler's bio makes this Joy of Painting with Hitler all the more funnier!!

Becky